#Most people in the fandom started with Awakening or later

[dimiclaudeblaigan]

Man. Feelin' emotional after beating FE7 again. It was interesting just having memorized every line from when I was a kid. I definitely play a bit differently than I used to, but mainly that I'm trying to use units I didn't use as much before.

Some things never change though! Such as... Kent, Erk and Wil being my absolute MVPs before MVPs were a thing (thanks PoR!).

Even though this isn't in my top five FE games, I do think it had the most well written bittersweet ending of the bittersweet FE endings.

Eliwood best FE7 lord btw. Baby boy. I'm glad to be able to walk out of this playthrough loving him just like I used to!

[coralhoneyrose]

Why Chrom Fire Emblem is The Husband of All Time: An Essay

SO. There was a screenshot going around of a reddit thread asking about how Chrom has managed to maintain such lasting popularity as a Fire Emblem husband even 6 years after Awakening came out. Given how beloved he still is another 5+ years later, I could not resist taking the opportunity to talk about just what I think makes him so great and endears him to players.

Character Introduction:

Let’s start out the same way Awakening does—with Chrom’s in-game introduction. This is one of the immediate ways Chrom sets himself apart. The game boots up and before anything else happens, Chrom is there expressing his unshakable faith in the player character. You take down the Bad Guy™ together, he turns and gives you this wide, puppy-ish smile and then you push him out of the way to take the hit from an oncoming spell in his stead. Right away you know this is someone your player character cares about deeply—and clearly that care is returned, because he’s immediately running over to make sure Robin’s alright.

Of course, as we all know, things go south very quickly after that. But as the cinematic plays out, and you proceed to watch yourself stab him in the chest, the *first* thing he does, the very first words out of his mouth are: “this is not your fault”. Chrom has just been completely blind-sided and arguably betrayed by his best friend, possibly his spouse, and his immediate instinct is to absolve Robin of guilt. He is literally more concerned about Robin blaming themselves for what happened than about his own imminent death. That alone tells you so, SO much about the depth of their relationship. It tells you both how deeply Chrom cares and how well Chrom knows Robin too. And not only that, but his final request, the ONE and only thing he asks of Robin before dying is that they will promise him they will escape from this place. In his last moments, his single “selfish” wish is for Robin to assure him that they will do what they can to survive. Chrom’s final request is for Robin to give him the comfort and peace of mind he can only obtain through the assurance that even though he won’t get out of there himself, Robin will. He just wants to be able to die believing they’ll take care of themselves and be alright—and knows them well enough to realize that unless he makes them promise, they likely won’t.

AND THEN. And then!!!! You jump cut to Robin waking up in the field with all the sunshine and Chrom’s smiling down with the softest expression and his ridiculously blue eyes. He lifts Robin up by the hand and pulls them right up to his face (because he has no concept of personal space, apparently) and OUUuuggh.

Those scenes in direct sequence make me so insane. You get Chrom’s life ending with Robin immediately followed by Robin’s life starting anew with Chrom. Chrom’s unwavering faith in them and his eagerness to extend his hand and bridge the gap between them from the moment they meet until his last breath. The warmth and kindness and love that Chrom treats Robin with is communicated so effectively in the first few MINUTES of the game it honestly makes me feel unwell. Showing how profoundly Chrom cares for Robin immediately endears him to the player. And he only gives you more reasons to love him as the game goes on.

Personality:

There can be a tendency in some corners of fandom to simplify Chrom to just being either a generic prince charming type character or a lovable himbo. I’m not here to police how other people enjoy him, but I will say that those characterizations fail to get at some of the aspects of his personality I find most compelling.

Chrom is deceptively nuanced. While there are certainly ways in which he aligns very closely with the standard jrpg protagonist, I suspect that a lot of his enduring popularity is the result of the ways he deviates from it too. He is brave and loyal and cares deeply for his friends, yes. He has profound conviction in his ideals and strives to do the right thing, as is typical for that archetype…but what makes Chrom so lovable is his determination to keep trying to be good in spite of the ways it does not come easily to him.

We see this in the Valm arc, when he’s struggling to reconcile his own beliefs about justice with his sister’s ideals for peace. We hear echoes of it when he talks about the horrors the Ylissean people endured at his father’s hand and how despite that, he has never been able to understand how Emmeryn forgave them for the cruelty they once directed her way. He has so much admiration for his older sister’s ideals despite the fact that peace is not his first instinct. 

When Emmeryn first sacrifices herself, Chrom is consumed with grief and rage, and it takes some time for him to understand why she made the decision she did. “Peace above all else” is just not how he’s programmed to operate…yet he wants it to be. If you count the drama CDs as canon, then that serves as another excellent example as well—where the message of his sister’s sacrifice is so lost on him that his first instinct is to respond to it with violence and prejudice and hatred directed at the very people she sought to reach out to. For a moment there, we see him veer from the person he wants to be towards what we as the player can only assume is the person his father left him afraid that he would become.

And yet he finds his way back. He stumbles, he lashes out, but his love for his friends and fear of losing more of those he holds dear is able to help him course correct.

I love that tug-of-war in him. I love that we get glimpses of the darker paths he could have gone down and that there are tangible consequences for his mistakes. Early in the game, we see Chrom lose control of his temper and how Gangrel and Aversa are able to take advantage of that to officially declare war on Ylisse. Chrom later tells Gangrel that were he alone, he can imagine losing himself in that need for vengeance but reiterates that it’s love that is able to keep him from succumbing to that.

And it’s not only that he’s able to stop himself from being horrible—his losses are the catalyst for him coming into his own as a leader. He’s able to pick himself up and hold himself together to see their troops through the rest of the war. And he manages that despite the fact that in the course of mere days, he lost both his home and his most important person and has been freshly saddled with the duty of ruling an entire country. That’s…a lot. And really goes a long way in demonstrating Chrom’s incredible strength of character and conviction. We get some wonderful moments of vulnerability where he confesses to being riddled with doubts about his own capabilities and worthiness, but in spite of that, he is still determined to try to be the person that Ylisse needs him to be.

All of this leads me right into another wonderful aspect of Chrom’s personality, which is that he is just…so driven by emotion. He feels DEEPLY, and while the narrative definitely uses that as a way to hurt him and force him to grow at times, something that really stands out to me about Chrom is how the story isn’t here to send a message that it’s wrong for him to be that way. Chrom’s big feelings are one of his greatest strengths in addition to his greatest weakness—they’re what saves his life and ultimately Robin’s too, if you go the sacrifice ending route.

And ya know what? I honestly think that’s such a breath of fresh air. I love how much he does NOT embody the emotional disconnectedness that you see pushed a lot of times with stereotypical masculinity. I love that he is the hero, and he's gallant, and very traditionally "manly" in a lot of senses…AND that he's also very emotional and guided by his heart. If you’re playing with f!Robin then you wind up with a really refreshing inversion of gender stereotypes from that: in which Chrom is the emotional decision maker and Robin is the more calculating and logic driven of the two.

Beyond his big heart, I can’t talk about what’s so charming about Chrom’s personality without touching on the ways he embodies a certain level of gap moe as well. Chrom is so stern and serious, as well as quite charismatic when he’s speaking from a place of passion. But on the flip side of that, we get to see him as an absolute bumbling mess when he’s out of his element. He’s easily embarrassed / flustered, self-conscious about his appearance, and often socially awkward where romance is involved. While these traits may seem of minor importance compared to the whole rant above, I think they’re really important for humanizing and rounding him out.

There are lots of other nuances to his characterization that go a long way in fleshing him out too. Despite being a prince, Chrom is blunt and completely unmindful of formalities. That, along with his impulsivity, definitely gets him into trouble sometimes. He’s melodramatic and blisteringly sincere. He’s a little bit clumsy and doesn’t know his own strength. He has a dry sense of humor and can be surprisingly funny. He’s optimistic and trusting—not due to naivete or stupidity but because he has decided that giving people chances and believing the best of them is an important value to him and one that is worth embodying in how he lives his life. 

Lucina’s presence in the story and his immediate and complete acceptance of her is an extremely effective way of demonstrating what an incredible father he is too. Honestly, he just has really wonderful relationships and deep admiration for a lot of the women in his life and that absolutely earns him points in my book (and I suspect in many others’ as well). When you look at all of that together, I don’t think it’s hard to understand why he’s so beloved.

Design:

Slightly less serious note here, but I think it warrants discussion regardless because character design absolutely contributes to player’s feelings about and interpretation of a game’s cast members.

And Chrom is…well, he’s eye candy, honestly. He’s got the nice, exposed arm, the messy blue hair, the completely nonsensical outfit he somehow manages to look handsome in anyway (his questionable sense of fashion is a charm point, okay?). Add in the square jaw and the surprisingly long eyelashes and he’s just. He’s very pretty. Idk what to tell you. Bonus points for the summer scramble cg where he has the most inexplicably flat butt of all time. And I really do believe that some of the oddities of Chrom’s design lend memorability to him and go a long way in setting him apart from other lords in the series with similar design concepts. The insistent asymmetry across many of his outfits, the fact he’s showing a little skin, idk it just WORKS. Chrom is hot, I don’t make the rules.

Relationship with Robin / the Player Character:

Last but not least, I want to talk about Chrom’s relationship with Robin.

I touched on some of this in his character introduction already, but Chrom is just…the biggest Robin stan. If Robin has only one fan then that is Chrom. If Robin has no fans it’s because Chrom is bleeding out on the floor with lightning in his gut. 

He just has such deep respect and admiration for them. He values Robin’s opinion and insight and thinks so highly of them and their ideas, often serving as an enabler in many cases (setting the boats on fire, the volcano, etc.). Chrom’s faith in Robin is SO unshakable that when his daughter tells him that Robin is going to be magically controlled and forced to murder him, his response is, “That won’t happen because Robin and I love each other so much that everything will somehow be okay. No, I will not elaborate.” And ya know what? He was RIGHT. Their bond DOES wind up being so strong that it’s able to change fate. The narrative is quite literally validating his slightly ridiculous insistence that him and Robin just care about each other The Most of Anyone Ever. He is Robin’s biggest advocate from the moment they meet when he defends them from Frederick’s suspicions all the way to the game’s close when he either assures Robin that their life was worth preserving or, as in the case of the sacrifice ending, that he will spend the rest of his own life searching for them until they return.

Honestly the fact that Chrom was willing to potentially risk dooming the whole world to the fell dragon’s awakening 1,000 years down the line just so he doesn’t have to lose his comfort tactician is WILD. For the game’s hero to literally say “we don’t have to defeat this evil for good, the people of the future can figure it out” JUST so he can keep Robin is absolutely unhinged behavior and I love it. I think it’s incredibly humanizing that he’s a little bit selfish about the people who are most important to him…that despite his willingness to sacrifice himself or run headfirst into danger, he draws the line at losing Robin because he’s already lost his most important person once and he’s not going to let it happen again. Chrom and Robin absolutely come across as a little codependent and a lot obsessed with each other and personally I wouldn’t have it any other way.

And then there’s his love confession to Robin. GOd...

I think that’s the most flustered Chrom appears in any content in the entire game…and it’s because he treasures their friendship so deeply that he is petrified about messing it up or saying the wrong thing. I love that he goes into their S support dead set on NOT telling Robin what is going on but the second he realizes that Robin is under the impression he doesn’t care about them or like spending time with them anymore he is so horrified and desperate to correct that line of thinking that he blurts out the full love confession on the spot.

He’s SO earnest throughout the whole thing, but then at the end he hits you with the whole “this is the best day of my life”, and the “You are the wind at my back and the sword at my side. Together, my love, we shall build a peaceful world, just you and me” (thank you Matt Mercer for your services), and the cg image of him staring right at Robin with what are basically heart eyes and. I just. There were no survivors.

That’s not even their only proposal / love confession scene either! The fact that the game gives us an entirely separate alternate proposal that’s more serious in tone is the icing on the cake. How many ships out there can say that they get not one but TWO canon proposals that are both that good? Truly no one is doing it like chrobin.

Closing Remarks:

Chrom is a well written and nuanced character who struggles and grows over the course of the story while always remaining true to himself and his ideals. His intense and unending trust, admiration, and love of Robin endears him to the player from the moment the game begins all the way to its conclusion. He is kind and good while still being fundamentally flawed (and it doesn’t hurt that he’s very handsome to boot). Bearing all that in mind, while the message of Awakening may be that nothing is inevitable, Chrom’s conceit and execution were always going to lead to MANY of those who play the game coming to love him and pick him as Robin’s husband…and there may be no greater evidence of that then the fact I’m out here writing all of this eleven years after the game’s release.

[sugar-petals]

since hybe keeps on mumbling how they don’t exactly know when to bring back bangtan because quote “BTS' share of overall revenue is not likely to be as high as in the past” and they will significantly deprioritze them (silly, delusional, eyeroll-worthy, oblivious, rude, greedy, foolish, the audacity: a damn rennaissance is about to happen! the whole fandom is emerging from the woodwork ffs), we need to take matters in our own hands getting everyone on board, enjoying what’s about to happen, and hype this calm before the very exciting storm up. in other words: silence, corporation! 

the ones that give and gave you all that money are talking now. we’re all still here! it doesn’t matter how much BTS will make because it would always suffice to keep them going (otherwise, they’d be long disbanded), nor is it of concern how old they are, what the trends may be, anything. it matters that they are back. full stop! as the phenomenon they are, and as friends, artists, cultural forces, support systems, as people. military is hard! plus, and that seems to be the good ole main concern: it even doesn’t matter how popular anyone else is by that time in 2025. or later because companies can mess anything up. man... we gotta stick together.

good for that other group or artist if things are happening for them. most idols barely make a living and have to repay huge debts. and besides: if, for instance, chungha drops a viral quality banger one week before BTS returns like it’s her fantastic baby i will do what? rejoice! because holy shit, two cool new songs! and hybe will still make cash anyway, as even more eyes are on the industry. and more old and new fans gather. who would have thought! even if BTS’ main market rivals perform amazingly: imagine how huge and buzzing the award shows and charts and switching on the speakers will be. this will be like spring. 

if bts not being on top is the worry — uh, how unrealistic — i guess hybe wants to insult everyone in this equation (and rage bait?!), even themselves: hilariously weak stuff right there. the golden eras of k-pop and music generally were marked by several great, bustling groups being excellent parallel to another anyway, with several contrasting trends emerging simultaneously. the bland eras had monopolies, a uniform look, meh production vibes, and nothing major happening 90% of the time, and the overall quality dragging everyone down, down, down. that’s not what we want! 

i want this thing blowing up like every group releases their gangnam style on crack all at once. my feed spammed with shiny thumbnails, fan cams, announcements, shows, reactions, like an LSD trip. any groups and solo artists dropping and bumping their hits nonstop ring ding dong style until the fans collapse from excitement and not keeping up. i want mutuals on my dash yelling “WHAT... I MISSED /THIS/ WHILE I SLEPT?!!” constantly again! period! i want my brain melting from all the viral dance breaks and catchy rap parts and insane choreography and new hair colors and the wildest ever beats. come at me! i think that fans can handle being blasted with fun music and novelty from all directions 😉 

cause, pay attention hybe honey, that’s what liking music is all about. even if fans prefer one artist/group over the other. yep, it is possible. who wouldn’t have a good time if all the big groups went off: there’s something furiously cool happening for everyone! a good kpop generation has a firework of big, BIG releases in a short(er) period of time, without overworking idols of course. and that’s what we need now, awakening from the slumber. bts’ military discharge is the starting signal for exactly that. hybe doesn’t know who they’re handling. they should be screaming “omg let’s gooo, look at them” the loudest! this shit is like the one piece time skip, hello? 

i can’t believe penny pinching is still supposed to be the problem. do they even know which group they’re talking about? just ludicrous. these 7 guys had and always have the midas touch. even yoongi who couldn’t even afford a single proper meal or the bus home from bighit is now worth a heavy 50 million bucks. there is no sense in fearing they’ll tank financially. hybe has zero trust and doesn’t know the fandom dynamics at all. as soon as jungkook even does as much as tie his hair back we are activated like purple sleeper agents.

even if bts totally fumbles and disappoints with the most awful regressive slop in history, a boring album, lost their spark, go through media turmoil, whatever, unless some producer totally goes off the rails and copies someone else word by word and note by note, it would be impossible not to pay attention to them anyway. i repeat. popularity and increasing revenue are never an issue with them. raise your hand, who thinks RM will greenlight a song that only two people enjoy and click on? hybe acts like the stadiums will be empty. does their CFO have amnesia? if the oasis reunion sells out in one hour, can you imagine what’s going to happen here?

i also don’t buy that they need a year’s prep time. far 2026 comeback?! many idols only took 2-3 months after military discharge. both sides are full of happy anticipation, idols and fans. yes — coordination, rehearsing, plans, tour, getting used to it all again, hair growing back, not rushing, subunits, hyyh anniversary, rest, military is an abrasive 24/7 job, other things also need organizing, i get it. but hell, yoongi once said he comes up with one or two songs each day. his head must be brewing with stuff that bts can drop in some considerable time, and i’m not being avaricious here. not to mention that namjoon probably has 10 poetry books worth of lyrics written in the meantime and will not hesitate to bring his writings to the table. 

if i was jimin my dancing feet would be dying to move in sync with everyone else sooner or later. i’d drop whatever content i wanted and enjoy being back. the audience reaction boost alone will accelerate everything, it might even be scary how much of a deal this will be. but basking in the early joy is the topic now! i want people theorizing like mad what’s gonna happen lmao, that’s the most fun! so let’s get this party started. we’re gearing up, there’s no stopping army anyway once it all gets going. and we’re cooking with imagination, too.

imagine a lead song that’s catchy like butter, lyrically hyped-up like the cyphers, dynamite-level impactful, a full-on banger like not today, adrenaline-laden like fire, and colorful like DNA. i’m not asking for too much, they’ve done it before. they are bts. it all comes down to who’s (co-)producing. that’s what i’m worried about. so my wish producer or force behind the scenes if hybe goes the american way (of course they will) would be someone pharell-esque. upbeat, refreshing, it has to match bts’ golden theme thread throughout their career. i wouldn’t mind the weeknd for a more melancholic B-side. 

it doesn’t have to be completely ice cream bubble gum at all, it could be anything in fact, and the new artistic direction remains to be seen later. the curiosity is one of the best parts. let’s focus on that! my feeling is that they slightly pick up where they left off, tie loose ends together, reprise their best elements as a tangent, and then present a whole new thing immediately. they’ve always been referencing with their work while innovating, this will be no different. yeah, the task of a whole new song/album carrying on the story is pretty difficult. settling in, too. i see why hybe thinks its risky, sure. i’d feel the pressure and required effort, too. but it’s bts! whatever they are cooking up will be of interest. i rest my case, this is going to be huge.

[palmolli]

I did not care for Breath of the Wild.

WAIT WAIT WAIT! I CAN EXPLAIN! DON'T SHOOT!

It's not that I HATE BotW. I certainly don't. I just don't love it. Though I very much DON'T like totk... that's an opinion for later. This is in no way a good critique or a review. It's just my opinion.

Breath of the Wild was the first Zelda game that I ever played, like many of you in the fandom right now. I bought it with my own money (I'm a jobless minor) after interacting with the fandom for a bit before even picking up a game. And like most people, the feeling of starting the game and waking up in that bathtub, that feeling of wonder and mystery, was awesome.

I will give credit where credit is due, BotW got me through a time when I was at my lowest. It gave me an escape to a much better world, a safe space, one I could go to when I had no hope for reality, something to hold onto if you will. The release of TotK gave me something to look forward to during a time when I didn't want to wake up the next morning.

I have every reason to love this game, but I don't.

Honestly, I'm TIRED of BotW and all the sequels and spin-offs.

Botw came out since people were so tired of the linear Zelda formula. ... that formula lasted for longer than I've been alive, yet it's only been about 8 years, and there's been such an uproar of people complaining about the new shiny open world formula.

Why? Well, because most of the gaming industry is open world now and having a linear formula is what made Nintendo feel unique... oh, and also because Nintendo completely failed at making totk's map feel new and interesting. They just slapped a bunch of random crap on the map here, and there with almost zero thought. When I first played totk, I felt like I was playing some kinda modded version of botw. It felt a little illegal. And playing it feels like a chore. That's never happened with any other Zelda sequel.

Even though Majora's Mask's assets were all reused from Ocarina of Time, the game still felt new and inventive. The game had meaning. The game had a THEME. AND THAT GAME WAS MADE IN TWO YEARS. TOTK TOOK SIX!!!

Cough cough. Pardon me.

Another reason I'm just sick of botw.

It's everywhere. It's Nintendo's golden goose. Just about everyone who plays games has played BotW. It's so big that it overshadows the rest of the franchise. It's basically Ocarina of Time all over again. Just... worse.

A sequel, a prequel, and another on the way. Ocarina of Time was never THAT BAD. It was given one sequel. That's it! Nintendo is just turning into Disney. And let me tell you something.

I loathe disney.

Too afraid to make anything new, so they rely on things that they know will make them money. Too afraid to say anything and spark controversy, so all of their content is void of anything actually meaningful. There's no particular audience. They appeal to no one by appealing to everyone while overly reliant on a fan base they know will bow before them and just buy whatever they churn out.

And, again, it's just like the word Zelda has just become synonymous with Breath of the Wild. Any Zelda content on most platforms like Tik Tok, YouTube, Twitter, Pinterest..

I AM SICK OF HIS FACE. WHEN I CLOSE MY EYES HE'S ALL I SEE. WHEN I OPEN THEM, HE'S ALL I SEE. HE IS EVERYWHERE AND I CAN'T ESCAPE HIS STUPID. FACE.

EVERY DAMN SKYWARD SWORD EDIT IS SOMEHOW MADE ABOUT BREATH OF THE WILD ZELINK I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!!!!!!

and this isn't a you problem, by the way. If Breath of the Wild's your favorite game, own that, bro. This is a Nintendo problem.

Like... echoes of wisdom... seems like everyone kinda forgot about it. Including me. It brought new things to the table. AND NOBODY CARES!!!! BECAUSE THEY'RE TOO FOCUSED ON BINKLE BONKLE'S MISADVENTURES. Though, it did keep the art style of Link’s Awakening... which I honestly do not like all that much. C'mon Nintendo, give us a new art style, you bunch of greedy cowards.

Now, to get off track for a moment.

My favorite game is Skyward Sword. Yes, this is relevant. Breath of the Wild and Skyward Sword are almost complete polar opposites of each other. One leans into tradition, while the other runs from it. One is reliant on story and characters, the other on gameplay.

People absolutely HATED Skyward Sword once upon a time. Now more people are starting to like it. People LOVE Breath of the Wild, and now more people are starting to think differently.

This point I'm making here is expanded further in this very ahead of its time video that explains this far better than I ever could.

Basically. People complained. Nintendo over corrected. Now we're here.

These two games are what REALLY got me into the franchise. Breath of the Wild was the first Zelda game I ever touched... but Skyward Sword was the first game I ever finished. Like ever not even lying, I'd never finished a game in my life before Skyward Sword.

The game actually motivated me to continue. The dungeons were fun and engaging, and same with the characters. I was genuinely invested and finished the game at one in the morning, shaking and in tears. Keep in mind I'd watched a playthrough of the game before I was able to play it myself. I already knew the story.

Then I finished breath of the wild.

I did not cry.

I did not shake.

I just finished it and put the game down.

Skyward Sword gave me a reason to give a damn, Breath of the Wild did not. Sksw Link felt like a person to me. He wanted to get his Zelda back, and so did I. Breath of the Wild Link, however... he just woke up, and he has no idea who the heck Zelda even is, so he's just gonna go collect koroks and blow stuff up. No motivation... just... do whatever whenever. Which is fun, yes... but it's not all that impactful.

Skyward Sword gives me a cozy, warm feeling, while Breath of the Wild gives the opposite. Empty. Cold.

Like... I just don't care about Breath of the Wild. I really just don't. And I am just so tired of it being the only thing on the menu nowadays. The characters felt like cardboard cutouts to me. You have to actively seek out any character or personality in them (the main ones). That was not a problem in Skyward Sword. Just sit down on a dang bench, and you'll find more character in Link there than in most botw memories.

I know botw Link's whole silence thing has a reason behind it, but it just feels like an excuse. They could've expanded on it a bit more. In concept designs, he's shown to have a family. But they scrapped it. They really could've done so much more with that.

This rant was incredibly messy, I know, but I just needed to get this out somewhere. This has been boiling within me for far too long, and I had to put it into a teacup and make tea, or else I'd go insane. I'm not trying to be a contrarian or anything. This is just how I feel. And I'm not trying to say any fans of botw or people who don't have access to the other games are fake fans. I understand that games are expensive and hard to access.

This is purely my opinion, and you're allowed to think differently. Thanks for coming to my TedTalk, and have a nice day.

[sanarsi]

sanarsi’s 2024 favs

I wanted to say at the beginning that this year was an incredible metamorphosis for me, full of happiness and tears but there were definitely more good moments! I’ve been here for less than half a year and honestly? I’ve fallen in love with this fandom. You’re wonderful, I haven’t met such nice people on the internet in a long time who offer so much support. I can’t even describe how grateful I am for the interactions with you and I hope for even more next year!

Someone told me that I should start appreciating my work so that’s what I’m going to do so thank you @iamasaddie @evolnoomym and @gothcsz for the tags. Love you so much!

Adventure here is a great way to spend my free time, and I hope that with time I will be better at this little hobby of mine to give you even more stories that will be more and more emotional and hot! I don’t have many works and they are all fanfics so I’ll try to choose just a few :)

One Shots

Euphoria with prof Joelllll love that protective man

Okay so actually I really like this shot, I spent some time on it and surprisingly I wrote it faster than much shorter ones. It didn’t have any corrections like most of my works, so it has some mistakes, but I’m determined to improve all of them. I like this vibe and the fact that it’s long enough to get lost in it.

Sweet treat DDDNE obsessed Joel? gimme

Over time I discovered that I was really into that dark topics??? idk but I really enjoyed writing this sick side of my lovely man. I want him to be as fucked up as possible hihi

Cheri Cheri Lady love step daddy vibes with Reed

Something about this man awakens the wild animal in me. I love him and the fact that he will be a wonderful exemplary man only to do all the nasty things with us later. Ughhh gimme that man right now.

Flying days and nights angst with my sweet boy Dieter

This one was wonderful and I discovered that I really like writing angst. I like to come back to it sometimes to give myself some hope in shitty moments. It’s just so neutral but pleasant to read. Really like this one!

Controversially young girlfriend tlou old Joel? don’t need anything else

This has become a classic in some way? One of my first works that gained huge reach which delights me. I fell in love with him and that’s exactly how I’d want him — not caring about the opinions of others and loving me more than life itself, gentle and tender.

Goddess with hubby Oberyn ahhh

That’s exactly how I imagine his love. I love these sweet and emotional shots because sometimes I need a shot of tenderness especially from a man like him.

Hunter/Prey and my faveee dark Dinnnn

I remember that I really liked this shot but it’s probably because I have a soft spot for this masked man. Not to say anything but…. I would do anything for him. Like— ANYTHING.

And I think that’s it? I would like to give more but in other works I know I could give more and I will because I really like most of the ideas I came up with and I know that they just need a little more attention to refine them so that they can come back to you better.

Lovely Moots

I would like to tag everyone, unfortunately tumblr won’t let me but know that I love and appreciate you all. I’ve chosen a few people who have really made my time on this app more enjoyable and I want you to know that I love interacting with you and reading your works. I’ve never seen so many talented people. Yall deserves everything and even more 🫶🏼

@evispunk @pedgito @punkshort @iamasaddie @aurorawritestoescape @laligraves @ace-turned-confused @studioghibelli @xdaddysprincessxx @21stcenturywitchcraft @gothcsz @itsokbbygrl @alwaysmicado @almostempty @syd-djarin @pattwtf @amyispxnk @joelmillerisapunk @joelssluttyknee @mrs-hardy-hunnam-butler-pascal @604to647 @slimybeth69 @eloquentlytired @evolnoomym @toomanystoriessolittletime @penascigarette @mermaidgirl30 @punkygreeny

[lamentofabramo]

Can I get an NSFW alphabet for Tobias Rogers (ticci toby) 🫶

I've been doing a bigger piece, so I might as well do something smaller like this since it's been a good while since I've posted now. (oops)

I'm basing this less on the fandom vers of him, hopefully.

Didn't proofread this much. (edit: I feel bad that I didn't acknowledge the heart, so <3 of course you can doll)

MINORS DNI

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex) Toby obviously is one of the more caring of the creepypasta's, of course that's a low bar, but he is considerably more human than some of them. He's still gruff and fairly untalkative after the deed, yet he'd offer some water before leaving if you were just a one-off/ casual fuck.

If you were his partner however, I'd imagine he'd be more caring, still untalkative and unaffectionate, but maybe he'd hold you or hold your hand in this. Of course, he'd blame this on being unable to properly feel what he's holding, but the slow decrease in his twitches as he holds you speaks a lot more than he ever will. He's not comfortable, but he feels slightly less stress in your presence, at least until he has to leave, his mind penetrated by the voice of the foreboding presence of the ever-taller man.

B = Body part (their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) His own favourite body part would probably be his arms, he was a scrawny kid for most of his life, but you sure would start gaining muscle if you swung your axe at people who you considered worthy of it. There's probably also some scars across his arms that remind him of his life before. Of course, he'd hate that idea, but he still has some attachment to his sister, his mother, no matter how hard he may try to push it out of his head.

For his favourite part of his partners, I feel like it'd most likely be your waist. It's something for him to grab, to hold onto to remember you're real, that you're still alive against his better judgement.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically) If you asked for it in a specific place, sure he'd do it if he was in a good mood. On your chest, ass, inside even. He'd risk it, he had nothing to truly lose anyway. But his favourite place would most likely be on your stomach, just the wet streaks across your stomach would do things for him. He's not sure why either, he wouldn't register that he does that almost every time unless you pointed it out to him.

If you did, he'd probably consider why for a second, his eyes widening in realization before shrugging. "Any better ideas?" he'd mumble, absently listening as he stroked himself. Toby would listen if you told him anywhere else, but… his eyes focused on that smooth surface.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) He secretly wants to push the boundaries of his condition. He wants your hands around his neck, trying to choke him until it hurt. It was strange really, he had a high pain tolerance, yet he craved this pain. Maybe it was because he wanted to be normal, maybe not. He didn't want to think too hard on it, like many other things he just shrugged at the idea and continued with his life.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?) Toby was definitely not an experienced guy, even before the accident where he finally became 'free' (If you could say being slenderman's lackey was free) the most he'd done was hold hands with a girl in primary school.

He wouldn't be insecure with it however, he never viewed himself as a sexual being, the most he'd ever fucked was his fist on particularly rough nights. Sure, he'd had crushes on women, but when you become a serial killer you go one of two ways. A sex maniac or a complete recluse. Unfortunately, Toby became the latter.

However, since he had a less than regular childhood, he was never able to go through the same sexual awakenings as many of his peers. Instead, that most likely came later, so when he met you he was awkward, like a teenage boy. Most of his language is through grumbles and grunts anyway.

When he realized you were stuck in his head it all changed though, his sex drive increased massively. His poor hand.

F = Favourite position (this goes without saying) Cowgirl probably rocks his world, he loves that intense eye contact that comes with it. The way he looks up at you through his fringe, his mouth slightly open as he pants and grunts, is a reward in itself. However, he would get impatient, his hips thrusting up to meet yours or his arms wrapping around your waist to pull you down further on his cock.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.) If something was funny to him, then he'd smirk, like if you hid your body from him even though he was about to be deep inside of you.

When he gets further into the activity, he'd let out breathless laughs, sometimes blaming that on his tics. He couldn't help it, though, he loved the way you responded to him.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.) Toby probably doesn't care much about how groomed he is, sometimes he'll shave, but other than that he's got whatever going on.

He has a small happy-trail up to his belly button though, it shows when he raises his axe too high. It's a dark brown colour, just like his hair.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? The romantic aspect) He's probably not particularly intimate, maybe some words here or there if he feels like it, but don't overestimate him too much. He probably came inside you before he kissed you.

His cheeks pinken slightly whenever you suggest kissing, but he quickly slouches and looks away with an almost childish pout to pretend as though he doesn't care.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon) Like I said in the earlier one, sure he jacked off every now and again, but it was more so a way to pass the time, to get some serotonin in his ever-pleasant life. But when he gets fixated on something, or rather in your case, someone, his sex drive spikes. He wants you in his hands, in his vice, it frustrates him, so he takes this frustration out on himself.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks) He's probably degrading, mixed with praise. He's basically up for anything. He's killed someone, I'm sure a weird kink won't kill him.

However, if he does think your kinks are unusual he will take the piss out of you for it, teasing, but he still takes part in it. Its fun.

L = Location (favourite places to do the do) Wherever you want, he's not arsed, really. Against a tree sounds the most fun.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going) As cheesy as this sounds, you. Maybe some aggression on your side would get him going too, that mouth of yours was lethal sometimes.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn-offs) Like I said before, he's practically up for anything. He might not be physically aggressive for you too much, though, it'd remind him of his past.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.) He's a munch, if he's in the mood enough, he could probably cum from giving you head. He'd deny that though, God that'd be embarrassing.

Not only that, but he'd receive too, no doubt, Toby would find it fun to just gently tug your head up and down on his cock.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.) Toby would probably be slow but deep if he's teasing you. But if he's just fucking you, then it'd be fast, his hands pulling you down on his cock with faster speed.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.) Hell yeah brother. Just give him the words, he might tease you for it, but he'd never say no (unless he's in a more depressive mood).

He'd love to fuck you in the back of his car too, or masky's car. Just for the hell of it.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.) He's a risky guy, but surprisingly, he wouldn't do anything that could get him potentially caught by the law. He's on the run for a reason, he's not willing to risk his freedom for a good fuck (sometimes).

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?) He'd probably like to overstimulate slightly, 2/3 rounds before he's clocked out and completely dry. He'd last an average enough time, 20 minutes normally.

T = Toys (do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?) Seeing your body twitch with something that isn't him would make him jealous. However, a little vibrator never hurt anyone. He'd tease you if you had any dildos or anything, though, asking pettily if he "wasn't enough" or that you were "stretching yourself out" for him.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease) Big tease, but he always fulfils your wants. It may take a while, though.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.) The only noise he really makes is grunting and whispers on how dirty you are. He's loud enough that you can hear him, but not loud enough for it to be a full-blown moan.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character) He does want to see how you'd look crying for him all bloodied up, most likely someone else's blood, but he's not picky. Maybe fucking you on top of a recently deceased.

But he'd never admit that.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes) An average to slightly bigger man, About 6.4 inches. Probably measured it one time when he was bored, and he hung onto the .4 for his ego.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?) Not too high unless you exist, then…as much as he can get his hands on you.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) He doesn't sleep much after it, doesn't feel comfortable sleeping in front of others, even someone like you. His nightmares don't help.

[inquisitionthoughts]

Dragon Age the Veilguard: My Thoughts

I have played through all of the latest Dragon Age installation (except for two side quests in Rivain, and one blighted dragon that I was locked out of for the entire game due to what I believe was a bug) and I have things to say. 

After finishing it I had so many conflicting thoughts and feelings, and those internal conflicts have only grown after letting the experience marinate. 

I want to start with saying that I am writing what I'm going to say as a nonbinary, queer, bi, pan, poly, “leftist” progressive feminist vegetarian working at an NGO LGBTQI-organization, so you can safely assume that I am not coming from a grifter or alt-right point of view. 

To give you an idea of where I am coming from:

I grew up reading folktales, mythologies and fantasy literature by Pratchett, Tolkien and Eddings; playing the Swedish version of Dungeons & Dragons, making role-playing games, and programming text based fantasy adventures in DOS as a kid. That's how I ended up in this whole fandom in the first place. 

I am an original Dragon Age fan. I've followed and absolutely loved the series since before the release of Origins. As I watched my friends play Baldur's Gate 1 and 2, but never had a good enough computer at home to play those games myself at that time, I was elated when I got to hear talk of a game universe that was the “spiritual successor to Baldur's Gate”, and I followed all info on the development and marketing, until the game was released. And boy did they deliver, Dragon Age: Origins converted me into a gamer and cemented my love for cRPGs as well as my love for BioWare. 

I did many playthroughs of Origins; every origin, good runs, evil runs, canon runs. All the DLC. Several runs of Awakening. When the demo for DAII was released I was apprehensive due to the really weird look so it took me a while to play it, but when I eventually did it was amazing. The companions and the story were stellar, and it didn't really matter that they reused the dungeons, I just wish they had updated the maps so it wasn't as obvious. Several playthroughs later with both siblings, all romances and different allied endings I was ready for the next installation. 

I pre-ordered Dragon Age Inquisition as soon as it was possible, the collector's edition, so I ended up learning tarot to use the deck that came with it. I bought all the art books for all the games. I kind of wanted to stop playing Inquisition at the 1337 hour mark but now I have over 2000 hours in the game, with all the DLC completed, and I've played every race and class, explored all the different ways the character can be portrayed as devout Andrastian, carefree selfish asshole, elven supremacist or goodie-two shoes hero, and I’ve even written a guide to how to get the best DAI experience here on tumblr (tldr; get out of the Hinterlands, talk to companions, skip the shards 😅). 

And then I waited for ten years. Played Mass Effect 1-4, Fallout 3-4, Skyrim, Witcher 3, Baldur's Gate 1-3, Horizon Zero Dawn and Forbidden West, Elder Scrolls Online, Star Wars: The Old Republic, Divinity: Original Sin 2, The Outer Worlds, Cyberpunk 2077 and Starfield to bide my time. Followed Ghil Dirthalen's YouTube channel religiously. Read most of the Dragon Age Wiki, even contributed to it. Made my own mad person mind maps over the lore and timeline of the universe; the Maker, the titans, the spirits, the elves, the veil, humans, Tevinter, qunari, the blight, Andraste and the Chantry. 

I love the darkness and depth of the Dragon Age universe. How it consciously turns fantasy tropes on their head in its own way. I have memories of the writers of Origins explaining that when they created the setting they wanted to contemplate how the existence of magic, elves and dwarves actually would play out in a gritty realistic world filled with bigoted and narrow minded people, and then followed through with those conclusions. How the plight of the elves had clear connotations to the holocaust and the Jewish gettos of Europe. It was a curious series not afraid to follow their own trains of thought, making you nauseated, flabbergasted and upset on the way. 

I followed the twists and turns of the development at BioWare. Through development being halted due to teams being moved to Andromeda and Anthem, the pivot to and from multi-player live service, mass leavings and layoffs, teaser trailers, Kotaku articles and whatnot. It was a roller-coaster pendulum swing between being afraid and hopeful, oftentimes at the same time. I refused to completely give up hope, I never did, and I was immensely excited for the release of Dragon Age Dreadwolf. 

Eventually it came! Name changed to Veilguard. A quite weird League of Legends-esque companions trailer. A spoiler filled gameplay video. Marketing team spoiling endgame scenes with official trailers. Rumors of amazing character creation and a shocking reveal that only three choices would carry over from the past three games. We already knew the Keep wouldn't be used, but only three? Nevertheless I pre-ordered and then it came. 

And I played it. 

I loved it so much, but at the same time I had so many deep grievances that threatened to take over the whole playthrough unless I somehow managed them. I had to create a document that stayed open at all times on my second screen just so I could write down things that I just could not let go otherwise, that made me able to keep focusing on the game and not the hard to swallow moments I was getting stuck on. I have never experienced anything like this before, but on the other hand I have never loved and been invested in any game fantasy universe like this. 

This was the result of all my reactions to Dragon Age the Veilguard:

THE LOVE

Things I really loved

the lighthouse <3

the look and graphics of every place, the game is absolutely stunning, and the visual people have outdone themselves, the level designs, the environmental storytelling is amazing and beyond

the cities, the markets, I LOVE LOVE LOVE them, and they give so much cyberpunk 2077 vibes in a good way 

dock town gives awesome low town vibes from da2 ❤️

the main story

the new lore drops, omg the lore, yum yum

buskers playing the old tavern songs, just love it

the blight, visually, oh god I loved it, it was really a throwback to the fleshyness of the Deep Roads in Origins

the new look of the demons, I actually loved it eventually as I was first sceptical, even though the pride demons were abit too much floaty neon

so many new iterations of enemies, in such fun ways

the faction systems and factions stores 

the companion gear systems

the gear system, upgrade systems

the short letters ❤️

the leveling up systems, really funny, great to be able to refund at any time

the world maps and fast travel systems

the cards where you chose your companions, stunning

the scene in front of the lighthouse eluvian, awestriking

the companion conversation system where you could see on the map of the lighthouse if they had anything new, or a quest or where they were if you wanted to eavesdrop - it was very refreshing after talking to everyone in camp in bg3 every night to see if there is any new reaction to something you did, now I could just talk to them if they had something and not compulsively all the time

the quest formats of walking along with your companions in areas you otherwise can end up in battle in, loved that so much, a calm way to experience these absolutely stunning environments

the combat system on explorer mode, when at highest level the animations that played out were mad cool XD that was fun!

that you can walk into and climb ladders at the same time as companions and that they teleport to you or enemies in battle, lovely

squeezing through narrow passages, sliding down, walking on thin planks

the no fall damage jumping

opening doors like in dark souls games

that lucanis had a contract on a bronto once XD

elgar’nan has an amaaazing voice actor giving weight to his menace

loved the format of the ending in the style of mass effect 2, so well executed! one of the best endings of all times

the varric twist OMG!! I cried ❤️

I have cried and have had goosebumps so many time during this game ❤️ I love so much of it so much ❤️

the hype for what the "devouring storm", "the adversary" and "it's eye" is, and a potential next game

the joining chalice T_T

THE MEH

Things that were meh

that the romance was super PG13 T_T I guess I am spoiled after bg3 but to get a peck and then a lying hug on a couch and an "I love you" was of course wonderful, but NOT ENOUGH XD I absolutely loved the Lucanis romance otherwise, very spicy in it's way, but I really wanted the scenes of origins, da2 or dai - we honestly didn't get that here

wasn't a fan of the cartoony vibes for the characters but I still grew into almost immediately, I really wish that they had done something to not make all important characters look so extremely young, some people who should be in at least their 30s look like teenagers.. they should have used more rugged face textures

that there was no real way to make your inquisitor look like your original inquisitor like in they did with hawke in Inquisition, kinda broke immersion and emotional connection

the controls (ok remappable so it was fine in the end)

the lol dota fortnite overwatch type of ui vibe

whats up with all this drowning all the time XD

that you have to destroy stuff to loot it - very dark souls (they have clearly been elden ring inspired in this game) - very unimmersive as you trash the markets in all major cities…😅 but in the end it was fun, but still insane XD

repetetive puzzles in especially arlathan forest, wish they made more meaningful quests there instead to slow the pace

wish I never watched the game trailers they released, they spoiled too much of the

would have loved to be able to zoom in a bit more

too many cats XD 😉

the music was more like starfield or a scifi game than dragon age - there was a lot of modern music instead of the classical brass orchestra or choirs, I missed that

I missed the chantry, and the chant of light

personal quests starts like in the shadow of mordor games, interesting, a bit weird 😛

THE 😬

Things that I did not like

that I could not recreate a body that is similar to mine (and I have a completely normal female body that is just kinda curvaceous) because they put an unrealistic cap on boob and butt size, it makes me really sad because it feels like there is something wrong with existing like me, especially since women like me are the only ones not allowed to be included and represented in a game that otherwise prides itself at inclusion and representation

the stressed opening throwing us into the main action of the game far too quickly with far too little buildup as to who your character is, how they were drafted by Varric, what they have been doing, why they have been split up, what their relationships are like and why you should care about your own character

the gold exploding everywhere when looting or opening chests, it is really immersion breaking and unnecessary, I really hope someone can mod that out

the new look of the darkspawn: I like that there are so many different types and the amazing idea that the blight has changed, but they obviously went for comedic effect instead of horror here which makes me so sad, it feels like it ties in with other choices that make the game more juvenile that are hard to reckon with, especially since the game is marketed as “mature”

the new combat system on anything other than explorer, a huge nope for me, unfortunately, but I can only congratulate all those that seem to love it

that we, true to american culture and despite healing magic existing in this world, get death scenes of people just sitting and watching someone die crying for dramatic effect instead of trying to help them… it irks me every time it happens in any media

that you cannot sort your inventory by any values or show only light or medium armor or anything, a missed opportunity

THE 😭

These last grievances are the hardest ones to put into words and the things that have stayed with me since I played the game. They have given rise to so many questions as to why these choices were made, because these things are so obviously choices that it becomes really hard to understand why they would chose to go this route.

But here they are, the three major grievances I have with this game:

1) the lore breaking or retconning

2) the writing regarding companions, NPCs and its ideas of "teambuilding" and preaching

3) that there is so little real choice 

The lore breaking or retconning

That there is much lore that is missing, and many choices or things from the previous games that are not referenced, felt a lot more okay than the instances where actual lore and world building was retconned in a way that was not explained in any capacity, but where you were just supposed to live with the fact that this is the new reality of the world. 

I am not fully sure why this happened, and it felt really disrespectful to the game itself, its previous creators and all those who love this universe. It feels like they did it for two main reasons: one was that they wanted to remove things that could be somehow perceived as “uncomfortable” or “problematic” to the player, and the other was in instances where I think that the writers did not have enough knowledge or interest in the world lore, or experience with playing the previous games, and thus missed important pieces of lore where they had taken part of just some of previous codex entries and just kind of gotten it wrong. I really don’t know. 

They seem to have retconned and thrown out the window all previous elf lore regarding dalish and city elves, that dalish elves are very hateful towards shemlen, and that humans are generally racist against elves, and that city elves are oppressed, and that they are often andrastian, and that not all elves even speak elvish… 

Playing an elf mage warden was a rollercoaster of people talking about "my people" when I most likely grew up in a mage circle and was drafted to the wardens and should most likely not speak old elven? All elves just talked about "our people" and "our culture" like if that was a thing constantly, but it is so much more complex in this universe. And it seemed all elves just suddenly knew elvish, which was not a thing in the older games, that was like a cryptic language people didn't know much about.

The weirdest scene in the whole game that had me rubbing my eyes to make sure I was seeing and hearing correctly was the one where you meet the Veil Jumpers for the first time and the two leaders of the faction for some unknown reasons had knowledge of Solas being Fen'harel and most importantly that the old elven gods were power hungry evil mages. Like, that should not at all be any kind of common knowledge, that just felt absolutely insane. No explanation given as to how they could have pertained that bit of info.

And there was something really off with Arlathan, where the whereabouts of the ancient elven capital was like the biggest mystery of the previous games; no one knew where it had vanished, it had just been buried according to legend, and suddenly there is just a large crater in the middle of Arlathan forest and loads of city parts kind of left? Just, really strange. 

And all this talk about the Tevinter blood magic destroying the elves while walking in that forest - where we literally just learned in the last game that it was not Tevinter that destroyed the elves, but the elves themselves and that when Tevinter came they were long gone, which makes those throwaway conversations just like this huge retcon of the last games. Kind of like someone reading the early lore and being like, aha, this is what happened, without also taking part of the events that showed that as being a false belief… 

And it feels like this was done because it fits in with this whole new idea of “elves good” and “man bad” vibe of the story, where elves had been turned into some kind of indigenous population that were fighting the evil colonialist Tevinter? Which is not at all the original lore; in the original lore pretty much everyone’s an asshole in different ways (even if Tevinter are more assholes than most).

They have also removed a lot of the difference between surface dwarves and thaigh dwarves with their quite oppressive cast systems and racism towards the surface dwarves and peoples.

And they made the chantry into the catholic church in Antiva, is that really lore friendly? The chantry run or other mage circles aren’t really referenced anymore, even with several new organisations around that forming after Inquisition no matter what choices you made, and mages aren’t really treated any special, and people don’t seem to be afraid of them or revere them as they would in the rest of the world or Tevinter, and magic has been turned into some kind of scifi magical tech instead of what it used to be. 

And apparently dragons have treasures now, but they never used to have that, so that's another thing where it feels like the writers did not write for the Thedas but for like generic fantasy. 

And the Crows of Antiva are only a friendly family instead of an unscrupulous child buying assassin’s league (I hear that has kind of been explained in some written media by a war between the different crow factions, but they could have somehow then explained that...), and the pirates lead by Isabela - one of the worst perpetrator of cultural theft known from Dragon Age 2 where she stole the Tome of Koslun, with so little care as to return it to the point that a war with the Qunari broke out in Kirkwall - are not pirates but culturally sensitive treasure hunters, but of course without explanation as to how this could come to pass. 

I have seen many people complain about things and references that are missing but that actually ARE in the game, and that is why I am not as upset about the missing lore because I know that there are probably a lot of that lying around in codexes and scenes and little NPC conversations and such that I have missed, just as many others have missed a lot of things. But those things that ARE there, that break the earlier lore without any given plausible explanation, that is what hurts. 

The writing regarding companions, NPCs, "teambuilding" and preaching tone

Generally people are just too happy and cheery almost all the time.

I've heard "you've got this" WAY too many times - the disconnect between the dark lore and world and the NPCs who are so unphased almost all of the time, except for when emotion is needed for a scene, is too large. There is way much more cynicism needed here to reflect the evil in the world and the actual goings on around. This constant cheeriness was present in both companion dialogue and NPC interaction.

This game is obviously themed around building "a team" - that's the main premise, but the idea the writers have about how you do that doesn't feel based in reality. It feels like the power fantasy of nerdy queer computer developers on how they want people to feel or operate. Rook is made out to be a good leader because the question "are you ok" is used in any and all (not always reasonable) situations. Romantic questions are blunt in a way that not everyone would be comfortable with, but all companions are still happy with that in-the-real-world not very successful flirting style, and it feels like that is a power fantasy of writers who just wish the world would function like this. 

You as Rook feels like your companion's mom and therapist, and their struggles are so juvenile and safe that they are about that they cannot sleep, forget to eat, that their mom told them to do something, that grandma might not approve of them, or that they do not like vegetables… And you tell them how to live their lives; they should eat, and sleep, and lots of other cliches, but the game also tells you as the player through companion dialogue that it is also good to do breathing exercises, drink less coffee, eat more flax-seed because it's good for your stomach, and how often you should shower. I as Rook even gave the mega ancient goddess Mythal modern style RELATIONSHIP advice, I wanted to sink through the floor… 

This game feels preachy in a way that I have never ever felt in a game, it is like there are some writers there who just discovered that mindfulness, flax-seed and personal hygiene are good for you and now have to tell that to the WORLD. If kind of feels like they were envisioning us players some young vulnerable gamers that they needed to save with their hard earned life wisdom. I feel like the writers behind a lot of the companion interactions were not suited to write the kind of deep meaningful content that you expect from this kind of game.

The amount of times I have heard "Thank you" and "I am sorry" in this game is insane. The characters thank each others and apologize constantly like there is no tomorrow, and they resolve their differences within two sentences like - "I hate your whole way of life" - "Oh, I'm sorry I wish you said something sooner" - "Oh, no, I am sorry, I should never have called you assbag." It's just… so much bad writing, I don't know what to call it, it's shallow and flat and I just wish it was so different.

A whole lot of the preaching style could have been remedied if there had been more “show, don’t tell” in this game. It feels like the writers have forgotten that when you want to convey a moral, cultural, artistic or political message through a piece of art, like games are, you need to do it through the power of allegory and not just by having characters outright saying what is right or wrong.

For example, if the message that you want to get across is that cultural piracy is bad, you should not have a character posture for an organisation just telling you how good they are for returning treasure to cultures they come from; you should write a quest where you dig up a piece of treasure that gives you some kind of power, but where you later find out this is an important cultural relic of some lost tribe that really wants it back, and where you as the player have to grapple with the weight of that moral choice. Even players who would then choose to keep the relic for selfish and power-grabbing reasons would still feel kind of morally bad, and they would still get the message you are trying to convey. This kind of mechanic in storytelling is something that is missing throughout the whole game when it comes to different moral, social or cultural messages. 

Also, in the character Bellara the retcon or writing for a different universe and strange companion writing converges. She namely talks about herself as autodidact - that she has learnt not by studying but by poking around and figuring out what goes boom - but at the same time she has many discussions with professor Emmerich about academic stuff and she uses all the fancy words, words that are also out of lore-words, about frequencies and things that come rather from Elder Scrolls and sci-fi universes, whereas in Dragon Age magical power relates to blood (titan blood, human blood, blighted blood and so on) or the fade and spirits. A person who is self taught by only learning and doing would not at all talk like that "you need to huperflux the enchantment-condesator", they would say "you know that feeling you get when it's about to go boom, that's when you do like this show and hold your breath" or something.

That there is so little real choice, you have only one personality and morality

You get very little choice in this game, so little that it almost no longer really feels like an RPG. Especially around who your Rook is and how they act, oftentimes they will just continue talking and say things about their life and background that you had no idea about and had never chosen. You are getting to know your character at the same speed as the NPCs of the game.

For a while while playing this game I honestly thought I had lost my ability to read and understand the English language, and was making plans to try to regain my language skills, because I had never before experienced such a disconnect between what you choose as a player and what Rook actually says. I realized later that this disconnect was not only felt by me but by others as well, and that there is a large disconnect between the options and what is said. 

I don’t need to be “evil” like you could be in Origins or can be in the Baldur’s Gate games, but at least I thought you could be a kind of paragon or renegade version of Rook, or at least that you could form your personality like Hawke and be kind, funny or harsh - but not even that. Rook is more pre cooked than Geralt in the Witcher games, this is more of an interactive movie in many places, so many that I wish they were more honest about that and made those conversations more into quicktime events where you would just experience the scenes like in Detroit Become Human or games like those. The illusion that there are RPG choices where you have less choice in dialogue than you had in Fallout 4 is just hurting the experience, and especially hurting any immersion and connection you can have with your player character. 

You are only allowed to be heroic, and just one type of heroic; not the one that is ready to sacrifice things for the greater good or to get things done, but only the goodie two-shoes hero (that for sure oftentimes is what I play, but which feels meaningless unless there is an option to go another route). 

The most glaring example of this forced morality that pretty much breaks the fourth wall was when Rook goes by a scene in a blighted city where several people have been hung and says very dramatically that “this shouldn’t happen anywhere” and then proceeds to murder 20 Venatori agents with zero thought as to who their mothers, children or pets are. That comment did not feel like a legitimate comment that would be said by a Rook as created by genuine interest in the character or their connection to the world, but much more as a clear “social posturing” or “virtue signaling” for the player behind the computer screen that this is a good person, and that they are good according to the only specific moral view the hero is allowed to have (no chaotic good allowed). 

It was also very present in Rook's interactions with Solas' memories in the crossroads. When confronted with a memory of the blight being created and threatening to spread to the whole world and how Solas sacrificed ONE of his agents to guarantee that the blight would not spread to the world the only way to react to that was the Solas was a horrible callous and evil person for not saving this one person and possibly condemning the world. I think they somehow meant for Rook and Solas to be moral opposites, where Rook would always protect the little people against oppression and Solas would sacrifice the little people for his missions, but it really feels so off to not have any say in your RPG characters moral values, even within the tropes of heroes.

This kind of virtue signaling is also present in many other parts of the game, used not to deepen the characters but to position them as the "good guys", and my best example here is how they handle Emmerichs vegetarianism. It could have been a really interesting trait that could have resulted in interesting conversations about morality, mortality, spirits of animals and flesh - but instead this trait is mainly used to position the other companions as good because they have (wow, time to get impressed) remembered to cook vegetarian food for Emmerich, several times even (naaw, that is so nice and inclusive of them, uwu). This cheapens the whole thing and makes it instead feel preachy (which it is at this point) and it's such a wasted potential.

And when it comes to the choices in the main game there is only one big choice before the suicide mission ending that is major and creates some replayability, but it doesn’t have a particularly large emotional effect because you have not come to know the places enough to care about them properly. The choices you make in the companion quests are, with the exception of Emmerich’s quest, so shallow and just affect their gear instead of their stories in any meaningful way, that I just wish they didn’t have any choices at the end of the quest lines.

SUMMARY

In conclusion: a lot of people have tried to explain these choices of retconning the factions and the lore, and the strange “teambuilding” discourse, as stemming from an idea of Rook as a heroic hero and their team “The Veilguard” as some kind of Avengers. And that for this purpose everything they do has to be good, they have to have only one type of personality, with one type of morality, have only one type of interaction with the world and their companions, the companions have to lack any type of “problematic” (or god forbid interesting) or morally ambiguous character flaw, and all factions you collaborate with have to be morally unambiguously good and the bad guys have to be unequivocally evil preferably without grayscale.

This way of thinking, if this is true, makes these choices that they have made for the game kind of make sense, but it is still such a weird choice to make, to take a complex dark fantasy story that is Dragon Age - and a cRPG franchise known for morally difficult and emotional choices and complex morally grey factions and cultures - and turn it into this hero-fiction, with clear cut morals and cartoony vibe aimed at younger audiences. 

This could have been such an amazing game (which is in many parts still is), but something went really wrong in the direction for the writers and I ache so bad for all those developers that I am sure really tried their best and probably suffered under insane creative direction. I don’t know how else to explain this. 

It feels like, when playing through the game, like the teams that made the environments, the main story and the companions were three different teams where the first two got all the time and resources, and no micromanagement, whereas the last team didn't have any contact with the others and got the short end of the stick.

I am still waiting for the Kotaku article where they talk to 19 people who have worked on this keeping them anonymous and telling us the real story about the experience of making this game. 

Thank you for reading this far, I seriously hope you loved this game no matter its strange choices at time, and I would STILL say after all of this that it is worth playing for all Dragon Age fans out there.

Dareth shiral.

[elainsgirl]

the gwynriels that ship gwynriel not just for vibes but because they insist it is canon are in for a harsh awakening. We've known for years that elains book is being written and is next and Azriel is such an obvious love interest elriel have checked off most key aspects of a romantasy couple in the making (we even have a romantic rescue scene where the male li risks his life for her). But it seems many new readers who focus only on their selective reading of acosf took over the fandom in 2021 and started gaslighting everyone that gwynriel is real and elriel was never a thing. I'm an artist who used to make acotar content but the arrogance of especially these new readers is infuriating and has made me stop making any content for this fandom.

I used to feel bad that all these people will probably be very upset when elain and azriel are confirmed to be next. But i dont anymore. They did it to themselves. Four wasted years arguing over what was already obvious in front of their eyes. They have soured the fandom for everyone else. They have stubbornly and publically thrown a four year long tantrum with their eyes and ears covered, while yelling at everyone that their fanon is real and everyone else is delusional. It's so embarrassing i cringe to think about it. It will age worse than sour milk.

You know what I think it is? Between 2021 and 2024 - booktok popularised the “enemies to lovers” trope - 8/10 all the books being advertised, had that trope. As well as E&L, banter became really hyped up - when authors wanted to promote their book, you’ll notice they will almost always use banter scenes as that is what piqued readers interest. Along w this, other tropes such as the “sassy, badass fmc” “warrior fmc” “girlboss fmc” became popular and in demand by readers. Many antis jumped onto this train, probably consumed lots of books with these tropes therefore its reflected onto Gwynriel and Elucien as ships.

We’ve all seen their HCs, Lucien will bring out the “sass” and “fire” in Elain. Gwyn will be a badass and run her mouth off on Az which he will like etc. Both ships are filled with HCs that booktok popularised. I’ve said this so many times before - but I always think of elucien and gwynriel as lumps of warm clay. You can mold them to be whatever you want. Whatever dynamic, trope, story etc that intrigues you because they’re just not developed. They have no outline, no set dynamic that you’ll get with a canon, foreshadowed ship such as elriel. Antis have motives for shipping their ships, elriels don’t and thats another difference. Antis motives’ and biased lenses lead to them to different outcomes - 4 years later and still as a whole group, none of them are consistent with anything. Literally, can’t even decide- is it elucien next or gwynriel?. With elriels, we’ve all read the books as they should be read and came to the same conclusion. Hence why, elriels are more consistent with everything they put out.

Its so hilarious when newcomers or casual readers are so suprised to hear about Gwynriel. I mean, I thought it was some booktok cult at first- had no idea it was an actual ship. I think its funnier when gwynriels act so superior and list all the foreshadowing & “scenesl” they have only to be proven wrong by canon. Take Az rescuing Gwyn, the whole thing was romantacised. He carried Gwyn in his arms all the way to the library…when actually that was Mor. Az had left Gwyn to finish his job.

I dont have it in me to feel bad. Cause it was literally “in your face obvious” all along and as someone who was there from 2021, Gwynriel started due to Elain hate and Elucien’s main arguement for so long has always been about Elain needing to make Lucien happy as he deserves it. Yeah I can’t count the amount of times antis have given me second hand embarrassment. Some are ok. Others are just immature and entitled. I agree, the fandom increased in toxicity due to the shipwars which started because of Gwynriels/Eluciens. And not saying elriels are innocent, every side has bad stans but some antis have made the fandom unbearable. Seems like they crash out whenever Sjm posts something, they then get over it and crash out again. Its a tiring yet amusing cycle to watch from afar. I think when the announcement comes there will be silence at first from the antis before the new delusional takes begin.

[jerzwriter]

Mono~poly Chapter 3: Propositions

A Tobias x Casey AU - Information and Notes

AU Premise: What happens when something that was supposed to be just fun turns into something real? When true love enters the equation between two people who view the very concept of love in different ways, can it work? In this alternate universe, we'll follow Casey and Tobias (and some others along the way) on their journey, where a happy ending is what both desire, but (as in life) nothing is guaranteed.

Fandom: Open Heart, Choices ** Pairing (This Chapter): Tobias Carrick x Casey MacTavish F!MC Other Characters: Ethan Ramsey, Jackie Varma, Bryce Lahela OC: Halle Williams (mentioned), OC: Addie Larkin, OC: Vivian Carrick. Rating: Teen Words: 5,300

Chapter Summary: Three years into their relationship, Tobias and Casey are still the couple to be. But as big changes take place around them, Casey faces internal struggles, while Tobias wonders if the two of them are still on the same page.

A/N: It took much longer to get this chapter up than expected; that was mostly because I forgot I was hosting Tobias Carrick Appreciation Week (you can check that out here!), and then work decided to explode! Hopefully, life will be kind, and I can get back on a normal schedule with this! I got it up just in time for the last day of Non-Monogamy Awareness Week - even though we haven't gotten to that NM part yet! lol Participating in @julychallenge Pink: Love, Optimistic, Vulnerable, Friendship Black: The Unknown

SERIES MASTERLIST SERIES INFORMATION MY MAIN MASTERLIST

Tobias loved few things more than mornings like this: mornings when he could wake up on his own accord without work or other obligations beckoning. Days that started with the sunshine beaming in the window or the birds chirping outside, or days like today when he was awakened by the best reason of all.

His heavy silk comforter shifted unexpectedly, leaving his legs exposed and pulling him from his groggy haze. A smile was on his lips before his eyes had a chance to open when Casey’s arm encircled him in a warm embrace. It didn’t matter that they’d been together three years now; he knew in his heart he’d always cherish starting his day like this.

“Good morning, gorgeous,” he said with a raspy voice. His smile growing exponentially when her naked body squirmed against his, relishing the warmth between them.

“Mmmm. Morning,” she whispered. “Can we stay asleep a little bit longer?”

“We could, but then I won’t get any alone time before you’re off to work.”

“Sure you can,” she yawned. “We can have alone time sleeping.”

“Fine,” he chuckled. He never could put up much of a fight when it came to her.

An hour later, a sleepy Casey shuffled into the kitchen with little recollection of their earlier exchange. Her eyes were half closed, and she would have still been in bed if the aroma of Tobias’s French toast hadn’t beckoned her from afar. She wrapped her arms around him from behind, wearing no more than his flannel pajama top. 

“You’re making me French toast!” she sang.

“Mmm hmm. Your favorite,” he smiled. “And you’re wearing my pajama top.”

“Mmm hmm,” she mimicked, well aware of the effect that had on him. “Your favorite.”

“You better believe it is,” he replied, knowing it would take all his strength to focus on breakfast.  

He told her to sit and made a grand display of serving her. After just one bite, Casey began to make those noises he adored. He'd heard them at this kitchen table before, sometimes with the two of them seated at it, sometimes with the two of them on top of it, and they were music to his ears either way. He barely touched his food, too enraptured watching her enjoy hers. Those closest to them wondered when they’d emerge from that blissful bubble most couples found themselves in at the start of a relationship, but three years in, the two of them showed no signs of the bubble bursting.

Casey was mid-bite and running her toe up his bare leg when she caught him staring her way.

“Yes?” she asked playfully.

“Yes...,” he affirmed. “That’s what I want you to say.”

“Oh, really?” She teased. “Who knows, I just might... depending on your question.”

He took her hand, his eyes warm and sincere. “Move in with me.”

It wasn’t the first time he had asked her. It wasn’t even the twentieth; by now, he had lost count. And each time, she answered the same way. “Eventually.” She’d remind him that she was with him most of the time, her landlord had forgotten what she looked like by now, but that didn’t matter to Tobias. He wouldn’t be content until her name was next to his on the mailbox, and now, the stakes were even higher.

“Tobias...” she sighed, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. “You know what I’m going to....”

“Eventually,” he huffed. Normally, he took it in stride, but he couldn't find it in himself to do that today. Pulling his hand back, he began to clear the table.   

“Baby,” she said, rising to his side. “Please don’t be upset.”  

“I’m not upset, Casey, I’m not.”

“Then what are you?”

“I’m... I don’t know. I guess I’m hurt... a little. I don’t understand why the woman I love, the woman I know loves me, seems to find the idea of living with me to be so abhorrent.”

“I don’t! If I believed that, do you think I’d be here all the time? I love you and love being with you. Why is it so important to you that it’s official?”

“Why is it so unimportant to you?”

“It’s not... it’s just....”

“Case,” he interrupted, running a hand down his face. “I’m buying a new place. I’m buying a home that I hope will be ours one day, and doing it by myself feels so lonely.”

“But you’re not!” She insisted. “We the neighborhood out together. I’m looking at places with you and giving you my input. I wouldn’t be doing that if I didn’t expect to live there with you, too.”

“Eventually,” he frowned.

Casey threw her arms around him and nuzzled her head in his shoulder. He loved and hated the way her touch alone could make him lose all reason and forget why he was upset just moments before.  

“It’s going to happen, hon. And until then,” she pulled him into a tender kiss. “I’m still going to be here with you so much you’ll be sick of me.”

“As if,” he smirked.

Confident she had smoothed things over, she gazed up with a playful smile. “So, when will we be doing more shopping for our new place?”

“I’ll be doing that today,” he replied. “But you’ll be at work.”

“Which you knew!” She playfully punched his arm. “Way to include me!”

“It’s only because a few properties just hit the market this morning, and I want to get a jump on them. If it’s anything worthwhile, I’ll take you back to see them.”

“If anything’s worthwhile, you’ll Facetime me,” she corrected. “Things are moving quickly these days!”

“Good idea! And the listings Halle sent me this morning are very impressive; they probably will go quick.”

“Halle?” Casey asked. “I thought she was just filling in for Ray while he was on vacation. Isn’t he back yet?”

“He is, but I decided to work with Halle going forward.”

“Oh,” Casey said as the mood in the room shifted. “Well, let me know if you like anything,” she took a hesitant step backward. “I should go get ready for work.”

She rushed out of the kitchen, but Tobias was quick at her heels.

“Babe, what’s wrong?” he asked, though it took a few more attempts before he persuaded her to answer.

“I just don’t care for Halle... that’s all, and of course, the first time you’re going to look at properties alone... she’s your new agent.”

Tobias raised an eyebrow. “Case... please don’t tell me you’re jealous.”

“I’m not jealous!” She insisted, all but assuring him she was jealous. “I... I just don’t like Halle. Why did you have to switch?”

“I switched because she's better. She gets listings to me the moment they hit the market, whereas Ray sat them. Plus, Halle just seems to have a better idea of what I’m looking for.”

Casey rolled her eyes, “Of course she does.”

Tobias was still amused, but that was morphing into concern as the conversation continued. He sat on the bed, pulling Casey onto his lap.

“This isn’t like you, babe... where is this coming from.”

Apparently, he missed a lot of things Casey saw during their two appointments with Halle. Like how friendly and flirtatious she was with him but was barely cordial to her. Or how the real estate agent's caramel curls bounced when she laughed hysterically at his mediocre jokes and the way her dark brown lit up when Tobias joked that he couldn’t convince Casey to move in with him.

“A gorgeous doctor who is buying a badass place in Boston, and you're not moving in? You better jump on that, girl, before someone else does.”

She said it with just enough humor that Casey would have looked like a fool if she said anything, and Tobias was oblivious to it all. He continued being his usual flirtatious self, and at some point, Casey quietly began to feel like she was the third-wheel. But things returned to normal the second Halle left, so there was no reason to address it until now.

“Tobias, she’s totally into you... it’s so obvious... I can’t believe you don’t see it. And she’s gorgeous. If she weren’t 5 foot 5 in heels, she’d be a model with no interest in the real estate market. And don’t tell me you didn't notice that.”

“Babe, of course, I noticed she’s attractive, but my only interest in her is having her find me a new place. Do you seriously think I’d cheat on you?”

No. Casey thought. But she could be the one that eventually sparked the conversation Casey had been waiting on for three years. The one that would revive her “we don’t have to be monogamous” offer from years before. To date, Tobias hadn't expressed any interest in doing so, but Casey knew it would only be a matter of time before someone as beautiful and as forward as Halle lit that spark, and the possibility would become a reality.

“No,” Casey gulped. “I don’t think you’d cheat on me," she replied, deciding to leave out all of the rest.

“Then you have no reason to worry. So, she’s into me. Do you have any idea how many people are into you, but you don’t see me worrying.”

“Right,” she said with a dismissive wave. “I have an entire fan club.”

“You do!” He grinned.

“Name one person!"

“One? I'll do better than that. There’s Meghan, the surgical nurse, who begins stuttering whenever you're within five feet of her."

“Tobias! She has a stutter! That has nothing to do with me!"

“She only stutters when you're around, babe! Then there’s the tall, ginger pharma rep, who always makes sure you'll be in before he visits Edenbrook. At least half of the interns in every class you’ve had are at least a little in love with you, and then there’s Ethan.”

“Ethan!” She exclaimed in disbelief. “Ethan Ramsey?”

“Do you know another Ethan?”

“Tobias, Ethan and I are close. He’s one of my best friends, but it’s not like that. He's not secretly in love with me!”

“Right,” Tobias smiled. “Good to know I’m not the only one in this relationship that can’t see the obvious. Ethan adores you.”

“All right,” she said, nervously jumping off his lap. “Maybe in a sweet, platonic, non-I want to fuck you kind of way, but... no... No! Not like that!”

“All right, do you want me to ask him?” Tobias teased, to Casey’s horror.

“NO! God, no!”

“Well,” Tobias winked, “Then I guess we’ll never know.”

He stood up and stood before Casey, his seductive grin already making her weak, and that was before he leaned for a slow sensual kiss. His hands moved up, delicately skimming her chest as he unbuttoned his pajama top and pushed it off her shoulders, leaving her standing bare before him.

“We’ve got to get ready to leave,” she murmured. "I have work... you have Halle."

"We do," he said, his warm lips now trailing kisses over her shoulder. “But before we go, I need to make sure you know who I'm thinking about very clear... and that's you."

~~~~~

Two Months Later

The difficult parts were now behind them. A place had been selected, the offer accepted, and the mortgage obtained. They picked out furniture together, and they decided to decorate the place themselves, but at the last moment, Tobias brought in a pro. He hoped to be there for a long time and intended to make his very best memories there; it needed to be perfect — a blend of modern and traditional, awash in earth tones with splashes of color throughout. Casey joked that her blood pressure dropped just stepping inside, but all she had to do was look at the expansive views the floor-to-ceiling windows provided to get her pulse quickening again. Tobias’s new place was spectacular! The hard parts were now behind them; now, it was time to enjoy it.

~~~~~

“This is delicious,” Ethan marveled, savoring another bite of tender filet mignon. “I’ve got to admit, Carrick, the party, the new condo — you knocked it out of the park.”

“Thank you,” Tobias gushed, with a nod toward Casey. “But I wouldn’t have been able to do any of it without this beauty by my side.”

Casey rolled her eyes and took a sip of wine. “Seriously? Like I cooked!”

Their guests erupted into laughter, with one notable exception.

“Tobias,” his mother scolded. “You’re not about to let her downplay her contributions like that, are you?”

“Of course not, Ma!” He chuckled. “I just said I’d have none of this if it weren’t for her.”

“That’s not true...” Caey began, but he quickly interrupted.

“It certainly is! How many classy dinner parties have I hosted in the past?”

All turned to Ethan, who visibly choked on his wine.

“None!” he scoffed, raising a napkin to his face.

“Exactly! See,” he said, placing a kiss on Casey's hand. “I need you.”

“I couldn’t agree more,” Vivian beamed, raising her glass. “To Casey, the woman who finally turned my little boy into a grown man... and they said it couldn’t be done!”

“To Casey,” everyone cheered as her cheeks turned redder than the Malbec in her hand.

Pleased with the reaction, Vivian felt encouraged to continue. “So, when do you plan to seal the deal and make things official? Someone like Casey isn’t going to be on the market forever, son! Don't you agree, Ethan?”

“And why am I being singled out for that question?” Ethan asked.

“I don’t know,” Jackie snickered. “Maybe the fact that you had a relationship with both parties in the past gives you deeper insight than most.”

Casey lowered her face into her hands. “And this is why we can’t have nice things!” Peeking through her fingers, she locked eyes with Jackie. “Really? Can we have one classy party? Just one that doesn’t have to go there?”

At the other end of the Table, Tobias’s friend Addie scoffed as she bit into a warm dinner roll.

“With you two hosting? Doubtful,” she laughed. “But this is new information to me! I love your dinner parties! They’re very informative.” She raised her wine for a second toast. “To Casey and Tobias’s dinner parties, may we share many more, and, while attending, may many more spill their tea.”

“Oh, says the woman whose personal life is a virtual secret!” Casey exclaimed.

“Hey, can’t fault me for being smart,” Addie shrugged. “You don’t need a medical degree to know that private life is best kept private.”

Ethan glanced over the candle and crystal-strewn table and nodded with approval. “Clearly, you are very smart.”

“Casey,” Vivian injected, wishing to steer the conversation. “Why aren’t your parents here today?”

“Oh, well... they’ll be visiting, but, uh, it’s not my new place; so....”

“You are Tobias’s significant other, are you not?”

“Of course,” Casey giggled nervously.

“Then they should have been invited.” Vivian looked at her son disapprovingly. “I raised you better than that.”

“You sure did! And I offered, Ma,” he grinned, “but it’s Casey’s parents, so I left the decision up to her.”

“It’s better this way, Vivian,” she jumped in. “The two of them have barely spoken since their divorce, and when they do, it’s normally not pretty. As delightful as that has made the past twenty-two years of my life, I figured we could all do without the drama today."

“Mmm, what a shame,” Vivian shook her head as she speared her fork into a piece of perfectly cooked asparagus in hollandaise. “And it’s unfair to you; they’ll really need to work on that before you and Tobias have children.”

Casey spit her drink out, and Tobias lovingly patted her back. “You OK there, babe?”

“Oh, I’m fine,” Casey replied, wiping up the mess. “Fortunately, I was drinking water and not wine.”

“Vivian,” Ethan stepped in, offering Casey a save. “Did you paint that stunning canvas in the foyer? It’s magnificent. I couldn’t take my eyes off of it.”

Vivian’s face lit up. If there was one thing that could compete with her love of talking about – and eviscerating – her sons – it was art  - especially her art.

“Unfortunately, I can’t take credit for that one. It is exquisite, isn’t it!”

“Casey and I spotted that in a gallery when we visited New York last summer. I didn’t know where I’d end up, but I knew that painting had to come along with me. It’s been in storage since, and I’m glad it’s finally found its home.”

“But Vivian did make the watercolor in the living room and the piece in Tobias’s office just for him, and they’re beautiful!”

“Thank you, but I made them for both of you,” Vivian corrected. “My art means everything to me, but there is always something special about creating for the people I love. I offered to make a piece for the bedroom, but Tobias declined.”

“Yeah,” he barked out a laugh. “No offense, Ma, but the last thing I want to be thinking about in the bedroom is you.”

Bryce, seated next to Jackie, let out a laugh. “And just like that, the conversation is back there!”

“I’ve just come to accept it,” Casey smiled. “But thank you, Vivian, for everything.”

Vivian reached over the table and lovingly took Casey’s hand. “Of course, my dear, there is nothing I wouldn’t do for you. For both of you.”

Blushing, Casey stood up and dusted off her body-skimming, champagne silk dress. “I should clear the table and get dessert served,” she announced.

Ethan wiped his mouth as Tobias pushed his chair back. “I’ll help you,” they said in unison as Vivian looked between them.

“Wow, you must have magic fairy dust,” Addie grinned. “Getting two men to help?”  Addie rose to her feet and nudged Tobias back into his. “Sit down there, my friend. You’re the host; entertain your guests and we’ll help Casey.”

“But Casey’s hosting, too,” Tobias insisted.

“It’s fine, baby,” she replied, leaning to give him a peck on the cheek. “…and I need a little break,” she whispered into his ear, and only then did he let her go.

“I’d offer to help, too,” Jackie shouted. “But if I do, Tobias won’t have enough people to entertain.”

“Yeah, that’s the reason,” Bryce laughed, wincing when he was the recipient of Jackie’s playful smack.

In the kitchen, Casey pushed the remaining food off a china plate, then placed it into the sink where Addie was washing.

“I’ve never understood the point of china,” Ethan mused. “It’s only brought out for special occasions when people usually have many guests, but it’s not dishwasher safe, leaving a ton of dishes to do.”

“Some china is dishwasher safe,” Casey informed. “But Vivian insisted Tobias have his late grandmother’s set. It’s simple enough to compliment his décor, but it’s old, so... no dishwasher.”

“Oh, it has a dishwasher,” Addie joked. “The dishwasher is me.”

“And I appreciate it,” Casey beamed, giving Addie a side hug.

“I’m happy to help. Everything has been lovely today.”

“Thank you! Of course, Vivian was mortified that Tobias didn’t hire ‘help’ for the event. I’m sure she’s giving him an earful now.”

“Oh, I’m sure of it,” Addie chuckled. “Why do you think I made him stay behind?”

“I like her more and more every time I see her,” Ethan smirked.

“But you just wait; Tobias will have help when you throw your next party,” Adide insisted. “Mark my words. And not because his Mom is scolding him. I’m sure it's driving him crazy that his precious princess is out here cleaning up instead of being in there with him.”

“Yeah, well, he does tend to spoil me,” Casey admitted. “But sometimes it’s all a little much. I don’t come from his world, and the idea of hiring help for a get-together with friends and family sounds....” She twirled her hand around, unable to find the right word.

“Preposterous,” Ethan grinned. “I believe the word you’re looking for is preposterous.”

“That’ll do!” Casey laughed.

“And that’s why I like you,” Addie winked. “You’re one of us. Tobias always needed someone to ground him.”

“Although you wouldn’t know it looking at this place,” Ethan injected. “Do I even want to know what he paid for it?”

“No, you don’t,” Casey chuckled. “But remember, it’s Tobias’s place, not mine.”

“Like you’re not going to be here all the time,” Addie remarked.

“Why haven’t you just moved in?” Ethan asked. “Sometimes I forget that you're not living together."

Casey looked to the entrance of the kitchen when she heard footsteps, relieved that it was only Bryce heading to the restroom.

“Keep your voice down on that, please,” she insisted. “It’s a sore subject with Tobias. He’s been asking me to move in officially, and....” she trailed.

“Fine, but I need the story on that! Why haven’t you? You mono folks usually step onto that relationship escalator on day one. You’ve been together, what, three years now? Shouldn’t you be making me squeeze into an ugly bridesmaid dress and selecting names for your 2.3 kids by now?”

Casey grabbed the damp dish towel from Addie’s hands and playfully smacked her hip with it. “Stop mocking me, Queen Poly-anna.”

“Queen Poly-anna?” Ethan questioned.

“It’s her pet name for me,” Addie grinned. “Isn’t it cute? She has to show off that she has one poly friend!”

“That’s not true!” Casey defended. “I have more than one poly friend.”

“Oh, yeah?” Addie asked. “Name another.”

“Oh, all right,” Casey surrendered. “You’re my only poly friend, but I have other poly acquaintances!”

“You sure do!” Addie snorted. “Probably more than you even know. I’ve gotta go to the little girl's room. Do the two of you have this under control?”

“Absolutely,” Casey assured. “Join the rest when you’re done. We’ll bring dessert in momentarily.”

Casey caught Ethan watching Addie walk away and raised a brow when he caught her looking.

“Tsk, tsk, tsk,” Casey joked. “You have had a crush on her since the day you met!”

“I have not!” He insisted. But Casey didn’t believe him for a second. “I just... I enjoy seeing her at your events.”

“I’ll bet you do!”

“Have you ever met her elusive boyfriend?”

“Believe it or not, I haven’t,” Casey replied. “Honestly, I don’t see Addie all that often. Besides, she has more than one partner. There’s the elusive long-term boyfriend and a girlfriend in Charlestown. She also has a long-distance thing with someone in New York. But I’ve only met her girlfriend, and briefly, at that.”

“God,” Ethan sighed, pouring a glass of water. “How does she keep track?”

“I don’t judge,” Casey shrugged. “Polyamory may not be for everyone, but she’s happy, and she’s not doing anything wrong, so...”

“Oh, I wasn’t judging. I apologize if I came across that way.”

“It’s fine,” Casey smiled. “You know me, I’m just protective of the people in my life.”

Ethan reached over and playfully bopped his finger against her nose. “I know. It’s one of the things I find so endearing about you.”

Casey looked almost abashed as she opened the cake boxes on the marble countertop, placing each one on a decorative plate for serving.

“But you never answered my question," he circled back. "Why haven’t you moved in with Tobias? While I don’t subscribe to that relationship elevator thing...”

“Escalator,” Casey corrected.

“Whatever!” He laughed. “But you are the most grotesquely happy couple I know. As much as I was skeptical of the match at first, I have to admit... you two are the perfect couple.”

“Well, there’s no such thing as perfection,” she insisted. “But, we’re pretty damn close.”

Ethan couldn’t help but notice the way Casey lit up whenever the subject turned to Tobias. “You can’t even talk about him without glowing. So what’s the holdup?”

“I practically live here,” she answered nervously. “I helped him pick the place, and we decorated it together.”  

“So then...”

“Ethan,” she huffed. It was rare for her to keep things from her closest friends, but this was something she didn’t want to touch. “I don’t want to talk about it, OK?”

“It’s your parent's divorce, isn’t it?” He asked, undeterred. “Casey, don’t let that hold you back. You, more than anyone, taught me that I can’t let the past hold my present or my future hostage. You were an absolute pain in the ass about it at the time. But I have to admit,  in the end... you were right. So I’m going to nag you as much as you nagged me if I think it’s needed, and I think it’s needed.”

“All right,” she smiled, with the defenses she briefly raised falling. “I appreciate that you care enough about me to mention it, and I’ll bring it up in therapy. I swear.”

“Good,” he grinned. “Your happiness matters to me. And, I’ll admit, I wouldn’t mind going to a good wedding. The past few I’ve gone to have been dreadful!”

“Ah, you’re just hoping Addie will go stag; that way, you could be her date.”

“That’s not it,” Ethan insisted. Casey laughed at his defensiveness, giving him a big hug just as Tobias stepped into the kitchen.

“Well, well, well,” he joked. “I’m gone fifteen minutes, and you’re already moving in on my wife.”

“You’re wife?” Casey laughed as she walked to Tobias’s side, wrapping her arm around his waist.

“Well, that’s what my Mom’s calling you... practically,” Tobias laughed.

“Nothing like parental pressure,” Ethan sighed. “Even at our age. I’ll go keep Vivian occupied for a bit. You two haven’t had any alone time in the past few hours. I’m shocked one of you isn’t twitching.” He clapped his hand on Tobias’s back as he passed him. “Great party.”

“Thanks, Buddy,” Tobias said as their friend left the room. He turned to Casey, eagerly pulling her into a loving embrace. “Mmmm, I miss you.”

“Miss me? I’ve been with you all day,” she smiled.

“Yeah, but there are too many.... others. Make them leave!"

“Soon,” she chuckled. “Everything has turned out just great today!”

“Of course it has,” he beamed. “Anything we do together does.”

“You know what, you’re not wrong.”

Tobias looked at her, more confident than smug. “I rarely am.”

“You’re impossible,” she laughed, returning to preparing the deserts.

Tobias stuck his finger into the icing of the chocolate cake, scooping a dollop of the decadent treat into his mouth.

“Stop!” Casey scolded, and she swatted his hand away. “Don’t make me call your mother out here!”

“No! Please!” He begged. “Mmmh, that cake is delicious. Where’s it from.”

“It’s from Bova’s. Halle sent it along with the box of sfogliatelle over there.”

“She did?”

“Mmm. I thought I told you. The note she sent is next to the box. Basically, congratulating you on the home and apologizing for being unable to make it today.”

“That was nice of her,” Tobias stated, pulling Casey close again for a tender kiss. “She didn’t seem interested in attending after I told her my brother couldn’t make it. Besides, she thinks you hate her.”

“What!” Casey protested. “I’ve been nothing but nice to her. Besides, she is the one who doesn’t like me.”

“That’s not true! Everyone loves you.”

“Really? Look at the note again. Is there mention of me?”

Tobias reread the note, a little surprised that he hadn’t noticed the first time.

“And tell me,” Casey added. “Was I anything but nice to her when we were together?”

“You... you were,” he agreed. “Alright, maybe you were on to something.”

“Maybe?” she asked playfully.

Tobias held her close, his soft laughter rumbling against her chest.

“You can't blame her, babe; I’m irresistible. But if she doesn’t like my baby, I’m glad she didn’t show.”

"But we can still eat the desserts she sent, right?" Casey asked nervously.

“Absolutely! No way are they going to waste!"

~~~~~

After a lovely afternoon and evening, Tobias & Casey were grateful when the last of their guests had left. There was plenty to clean up, but that could wait. Right now they were watching darkness ascend over the city they loved from the comfort of the overstuffed couch.

Tobias had already removed his jacket and tie; now, he anxiously unbuttoned the first few buttons of his crisp white shirt before sinking into the soft cognac leather sofa. Casey was quickly at his side, her head resting on his chest as she snuggled closer. Her long legs extended down the length of the couch, and the slit on her rouched silk dress afforded Tobias a perfect view. One he appreciated every bit as much as the masterpiece outside the panoramic windows. The hues of dusty pink and purple morphed into grey, then a jet-black sky. The lights scattered throughout the city lit Boston up like a Christmas tree. He could feel Casey smile against his chest.

“I’m never going to get sick of this view.”

“Neither am I,” he replied. “And I'm glad you won't because I hope we’ll be looking at it together for a long, long time to come.”  

“For a long time to come?” she goaded. “Gee, thanks, Carrick! What happened to forever? Have I been downgraded?”

“No, wiseass,” he laughed. “I’m not sure if I’ll be in this condo forever. Hence, we’d lose the view. But you, you are absolutely forever, as long as you’ll have me, that is.”

“Much better,” she sighed contently, her body melting into his. Tobias intertwined his fingers with hers, his thumb gently caressing the back of her hand. A feeling of warmth and contentment he had only known since Casey entered his life overtook him.

“I hope you know how much I love you,” he breathed into her ear. “And I’m not just saying that because it’s something we’re supposed to say. I mean it with all my heart.”

“Tobias,” she smiled, but he held a finger gently against her lips. Sitting up, he took her hands in his, and she turned to face him.

“Please, let me finish,” he whispered. “I never expected you to enter my life and turn everything on its head. I didn't think anyone like you existed. Words like forever, they weren't in my vocabulary before you. People always told me someday I'd meet the "right" person who would change all that, but I thought they were out of their minds. So, imagine my surprise when you walked in and proved me wrong.”

Casey’s eyes filled with tears, and she raised a hand to caress his cheek.

“I know how blessed I am to have you by my side. I’ll never take that for granted, and I only hope I bring you one-hundredth of the happiness you brought to me. I want you with me, baby, not just today, but for the rest of my life.”                         

“Tobias,” she whispered again, her voice cracking with emotion. “I want you, too. I love you so much.”

“Good,”  he said with a smile that lit up the room. Casey’s breath hitched as he dropped down on one knee and removed a small velvet box that had lived in his pocket for the past few days as he waited for the perfect moment to arrive. As he knelt before her, he was confident that moment was here.

Casey gasped at the ornate antique diamond ring, a brilliant center stone surrounded by a cluster of smaller diamonds set in the most beautiful gold filigree she had ever seen. It was breathtaking! But it only managed to hold her attention for a moment, choosing to turn her gaze back to her beloved’s eyes. The ring may have been exquisite, but the look in his eyes right now was the most precious work of art she had ever seen.

“Casey, I love you with all that I am and all that I have. Will you please make me the happiest man in the world and accept this? Casey, will you marry me?”  

Her eyes darted nervously to the ring, then back to Tobias as her mouth went dry. Her expression turning to one of terror instead of awe. She instinctively scooted backward, heart racing and her face impossible to read.

“Oh! Oh, Tobias....” she stammered, as apprehension filled his eyes. “Tobias... I... I....”

“Yes?” he asked nervously, praying her answer would be yes.

“Tobias I....”

~~~~~

Sorry... you'll have to wait! :) If you've made it this far, thanks so much for reading!

@choicesficwriterscreations @openheartfanfics

Tagging others separately.

[whineandcheese24]

so I saw a post where someone was saying how Benedict Bridgerton's queer awakening was better than Buck's because Benedict actually wants to explore his sexuality and not just jump right into a relationship, and that the 911 writers need to give more explanation in s8 for why Buck is so focused on a serious relationship with Tommy. As someone who loves both Benedict and Buck this was an insane take for me to read for 3 reasons: 1. different people will have different experiences with queer awakenings, 2. as people, Benedict and Buck want different things from their love life at the moment, and 3. as characters, Benedict and Buck are at different points in their stories. So let's get into it

some background if you haven't seen Bridgerton, in the beginning of season 3, Benedict started a friends-with-benefits situation with a woman named Tilley. At the time Benedict believed he was straight, until later in the season when Tilley introduced him to a man named Paul with whom she had a similar fwb situation, and the two of them asked Benedict if he wanted to have a threesome (albeit, in more formal words). Benedict eventually agreed and the 3 of them have a casual sex relationship, but then Tilley tells Benedict that she wants more from their relationship than just casual sex. Benedict kindly tells her that as he's just discovered this new facet of himself he's not ready to settle down just yet, and the two part ways.

so back to my reasons

Sexuality is not monolithic. Buck and Benedict may both be queer men, but they aren't going to have the same relationship with their sexualities. They aren't even necessarily the same sexuality. Though Oliver, Tim, and the rest of the 911 cast and crew have referred to Buck as bi, Buck himself has yet to use that label. And though the fandom has labeled Benedict as bi, he will, by virtue of living in the 1810s, likely never use a label, and the actor Luke Thompson has described Benedict as both pansexual, but also having a sense of "label-lessness"

Buck and Benedict, as people, want different things. When we met Buck, he was nearing the end of his hoe-era. By episode 2, he's already considering having a serious relationship with Abby, and after Abby, we only ever see him wanting a serious relationship. Based on his reaction to his temporary self-imposed abstinence in season 6, he's most likely still having sex and hookups even when he's not in a serious relationship, but it's not something he wants long-term. He's ready to settle down and find his person. Benedict, on the other hand, is not there yet. Even before Tilley, Benedict has always been a casual guy when it comes to relationships. The most serious relationship we see him have is with Madame Delacroix in season 1, and even that only really lasted a couple episodes. Benedict wasn't looking for something serious when he met Tilley or Paul, so him wanting to explore this new side of himself with multiple people is in keeping with his already-established desires for his sex and love life.

Buck and Benedict, as characters, are at different points in their stories. Buck is 7 seasons into his show. He has already been through 4 serious relationships, one of which got to the point of 'i love yous' and moving in together. He is at a point where the audience wants to see him succeed in his love life, and the constant going in and out of relationships gets tedious for the viewers. As much as Buck is ready to find The One, the audience also wants him to finally be happy and in love. Plus, having him in a happy, steady relationship opens up doors for him to have other arcs relating to his job, or other people in his life, while having someone who's not exactly a part of his job or inner circle of friends that he can talk things through with. It also gives him the opportunity to face the different obstacles that come with a long-term relationship. But Benedict is not at that point yet. Bridgerton is a show where each season focuses on a different sibling's romance, so of course he's not going to want to settle down until it's his season. And while this is entirely speculation, I'm guessing his arc this season was setting up his romance for season 4 where he decides that he's finally done sleeping around. He's done what he needs to and gotten it out of his system and now he's ready to fall in love.

Buck and Benedict are 2 completely different characters so of course their personal relationships with their sexualities and their queer experiences are going to be different. And saying that one is better than the other, because he doesn't want to immediately settle down is borderline biphopia/homophobia

[42donotpanic]

FIC WRITING REVIEW 2024

Thank you @loki-is-my-kink-awakening for coming up with this!

Rules: Feel free to show whatever stats you have. Only want to show Ao3 stats? Rock on. Want to include some qualitative info instead of stats? Please do this. Want to change how yours is presented? Absolutely do that. Would rather eat glass than do this? Please don’t eat glass but don’t feel like you have to do this either. Artists and gif makers, please also join in with any quantitative or qualitative stats or facts you want to share about your year.

(I just did mostly the same thing as last year. Thank you @evenfallreads for tagging me again)

Since I hit 100 posted works on New Year's Eve 2024, I hit 200 works on June 30th and (with two works that will still go up later today) 300 works on New Year's Eve 2024. That number includes 50 podfics that I posted since starting with Voiceteam in May.

Words and Fics

578,447 words published in 2024

675,494 words written in 2024

206 works worked on

189 completed works

most productive month: July with 78,528 words written

monthly words average: 56,329 words written

Top 5 Pairings

James "Bucky" Barnes/Clint Barton - 42 (I didn't plan this to happen, but I am very happy about it)

Clint Barton/Matt Murdock - 24

Matt Murdock/Franklin "Foggy" Nelson - 23

Clint Barton/Original Character - 10

Erik Lehnsherr/Charles Xavier - 7

Top 5 by Comments

Learning to Live again -58

Feel my Signs and Watch my Words (AUgust Writing Challenge 2024) - 42

Flowers on Your Skin (HawkTober 2024) - 28

Building a Relationship - 15

Springtime Fluff - 14

Top 5 by Kudos

The Sound and Color of Flowers - 210

Every last Piece - 202

Of Pain and Paper Bracelets - 195

I've Meant it all - 192

Accidental Striptease - 169

Top 5 by Hits

Learning to Live again - 2988

Building a Relationship - 2900

Now I wear my scars just like Tattoos - 2153

Of Pain and Paper Bracelets - 2098

Accidental Striptease - 1780

Fandom Events in 2024

For this part, I'm only adding in Bingos and Events with a hard deadline that I was able to get a bingo/blackout for, because otherwise this list would never end.

Bingos

[11/25] Bucky Barnes Bingo Round 5 - Bingo

[10/25] WinterHawk Bingo Round 5 - Bingo

July Break Bingo(s) - DNF

[9/9] Any Fandom LGBTQ Bingo - Black out

[8/25] WinterIron Bingo - Bingo

[9/9] Writers Pride Month Bingo - Black out

[4/25] both Kill-A-Character Bingos - DNF (will probably continue writing for this anyway)

Writing Challenge's

[14/14] Flufftober Spring Edition 2024

[14/14] April Showers bring M-AU Flowers

[31/31] AU-gust Writing Challenge 2024

[16/30] Tropetember 2024

[31/31] HawkTober 2024

[2/7] Trick-AU-Treat 2024

[7/30] Comfy-Vember 2024

[31/31] Whumpcember 2024

Writing Reflection

After getting into writing last year I went mildly to totally insane this year. I wrote more than I even thought possible, already upped my writing goal in January after writing like 30k on WIPs alone in two weeks, only to then end up hitting my yearly writing goal in September anyway.

I got into Podfic this year and it has brought me a lot of joy to work on recording and editing, as well as to participate in even more challenges and exchanges than I did last year.

Once again, I met a lot of lovely people and had a great time writing and simply enjoying fandom with people I like to consider friends by now.

There were many ups and downs, but I'm glad to say that, over all, this year was a good one for me.

I hope you had a good year as well and wish everyone a good start into the New Year. 💜

Tagging: @stripedscribe @ravenmold @cnwolf-brainrot @mutuallyprime @flowerparrish and everyone else who sees this and would like to participate!

[lu-is-not-ok]

hello i have no idea if you have analyzed Impending Day Sinclair yet or not (or if u r even still doing analyses) but if you are.... perchance could you analyze Impending Day Sinclair??

Aaaalright, let's get right into it. This is... gonna be an interesting one.

So, as always, let's start off with the Abnormality - Doomsday Calendar. And, my god, what an Abnormality it is. Four whole phases in its fight, each one with unique passives and attacks and mid-battle events (which, mind you, the Fandom Wiki still doesn't list)... I've got my job cut out for me here.

Now, because of just how many phases this fight has, I'm going to go in a slightly different order than I usually would for Abno analysis. We're gonna go Phase by Phase, as I personally think that's a slightly better way of analyzing it than throwing all the Attacks on the table at once and trying to dig for a meaning there.

Got that? Alright, cool.

The fight against Doomsday Calendar starts with Phase 1, which for the sake of the Analysis I'll call the Prelude.

During the Prelude, we're met with a couple of Doomsday Clay Dolls, a sort of "minion" entity to the Abnormality proper.

Let's briefly talk about those Clay Dolls so as to not get distracted later. First of all, it's not really shown to us how these Dolls are made so to say, but we do get to see the Calendar revive these Dolls with every progressing Phase. This is confirmed by their passive, Idolatry, which says that they don't die when reaching 0 HP, simply staying there untargetable and immobile until the next phase, or until the Abnormality is fully surpressed.

Interestingly enough, the Abno Logs describing the Clay Dolls never explicitly say that they're made of clay, but there is that implication that that's the case as their bodies are describes as resembling muscle fibers, and with their name being corrected from "flesh dolls" to "clay dolls" in an Abno Log later on. I don't think it's too important to Doomsday Calendar itself, but I did notice that just now and have a feeling it connects to some wider themes that are slowly being presented throughout Limbus Company.

Beyond that, their passive name and Lust skills imply they only exist to admire, love, and serve the god-like figure that is Doomsday Calendar.

Looping back to the Prelude, during this phase Doomsday Calendar does not act and is completely unargetable. It has only one Passive during this stage - Let the Blood Festival Flow, describing what has to be done to progress to the next phase.

This gives us a very interesting image already. Each of the phases after the Prelude are "Festivals", or specifically religious celebrations. A very dark and ironic take on this idea, seeing as each of these Festivals requires a human sacrifice, though I may be getting a little ahead of myself.

Once the Clay Dolls are defeated, Phase 2, the Blood Festival begins. The Clay Dolls are revived, with an extra one joining in. Doomsday Calendar awakens, sprouting arms that it uses to attack the Sinners.

Here, Doomsday Calendar makes use of two different Sin Affinities. Sloth for the attacks Quake and Slam, the animations of which are the Calendar literally just slamming its fists against the ground as if having a tantrum; and Lust for Live Offering, in which the Calendar grabs a Sinner and puts them in its... uh... Mouth? Facehole? Basically, the Calendar is hungry and needs to be fed.

The first mid-fight event happens after one turn. Immediately, the text here paints a specific image. The sacrifice done to appease is called a gift, a tribute if a Clay Doll is offered. It's described to be the way to calm someone down that the Abnormality likes the most. The gift it specifically seeks here is fresh blood, and it becomes satiated once it recieves what it wants.

Perhaps the phases are Festivals to the Calendar as it's recieving gifts in the form of these offerings, but to the people around it they're really more like Rituals meant to stave off whatever calamity this god will bring.

Something else to note here is an interesting sense of inevitability. Doomsday Calendar becomes satiated by the blood, yes, but it only calms down "for a moment". It will inevitably grow hungry once more, and will need to be fed again to quiet down its tantrums.

Once again, the Calendar's Passive here gives us an idea of the next phase - Let the Fire Festival Ignite.

Upon being damaged enough, Doomsday Calendar's phase 3 begins, the Fire Festival.

In this phase, all of the Clay Dolls begin Burning, creating fire within their masks and gaining the Wrath Affinity skill to belch out the fire, perhaps expelling it out as if trying to get rid of it.

Additionally, Doomsday Calendar takes on some interesting behavior here. It doesn't actually attack, only using a guard skill named Stalwart Altar, something that further exemplifies its role as something to give Ritualistic offerings, as well as adding to the idea of it being inevitable, indestructible. Something that will always come back, no matter how many times it's staved off.

Beyond the Phase-changing Passive, Doomsday Calendar also has a second Passive during the Fire Festival - Frenzy, which inflicts burn to all its enemies.

If the Blood Festival was about satiating the Calendar's hunger for blood, then the Fire Festival is about cooling down its simmering rage and raging fire.

The second mid-fight event takes place two turns into this phase. The text says that to weaken the Abnormality's flames, one would use cool water, before noting that the Sinners don't just carry buckets of water around. Does this imply that the 'proper' Ritual here would have been to offer up water as a gift? It would make sense, after all during the Blood Festival the Calendar only wants blood, not specifically human blood. Perhaps in that case, just animal sacrifice would have sufficed as well.

Tangent aside, if a Sinner is chosen to be offered up, the prompt for the skill check specifically asks for someone with a "cold heart", and even beforehand the text asks for someone "cool" to be offered up instead of water. Upon success, the Abnormality's fervor is cooled, and its flame shrinks to a flicker.

Note again the idea if only pushing back the inevitable. The Abnormality's flame isn't fully put out, it only shrinks to something much more manageable, something that will need time to build up again. These Festivals aren't really solutions to the problem, they're merely bandaids and duct tape meant to give people a little bit more time.

The last part of this phase is the Passive that tells us of the next one - Let the Star Festival Fall, which activates when Doomsday Calendar is hurt enough.

During Phase 4, the Star Festival, none of the Clay Dolls act, and the Calendar only uses one attack - Universe Aflame, which has Envy Affinity. First, it uses them on its allies, and if the last mid-fight event, it uses it on all the Sinners, which causes a unique death animation when it kills. And uh, it will Very Likely kill, because that shit is a 35-45.

As for the reason it's an Envy attack... I believe the event that happens after it kills its allies explains it well.

The Abnormality isn't the one being given an offering here, and it's not the one causing the calamity, rather it's only a gateway, a vessel for the actual cause of the Doomsday - the stars.

Stars are... an extremely important theme in Limbus, and it began as far back as Lobotomy Corporation. I don't want to go on too long of a tangent about that here, since it's only a small part of Doomsday Calendar, but let it be known that the stars in this series seem to be entities of unimaginable power in their own right.

Back to the event at hand, the text here describes the stars as "twinkling", saying that when they shine, they will rob the Sinners of their sight.

That specific idea makes me think of the sun specifically, as its (hopefully) common knowledge that staring directly at the sun could blind you. This is fitting for Doomsday Calendar, which includes a sun-like design as part of its stone plate. Doomsday Calendar being related to the sun also explains a lot of its other quirks, such as its connection to fire and even the whole thing with human sacrifices, as that connected with it being clearly inspired by Aztec stone calendars further relates it to the idea of a sun god.

Just like with the other sacrifices, this offering is also called a "gift", though here it is explicitly given to the stars rather than the Abnormality. This event also forces you to pick a Sinner rather than a Clay Doll, and the skill check prompt explains why - the person being offered up needs to have a voice that could "lull the stars to sleep". If this lullaby succeeds, the stars are put into a deep slumber, their light leaving people be "for a while".

For a while... again with that idea of inevitability. Putting the stars to sleep only puts off their awakening for later, it doesn't actually stop it. With time, they will inevitably twinkle once more, and their starlight will again threaten to "blind" everyone.

While this may not be enough to fully stop the stars, succeeding at this skill check is enough to suppress Doomsday Calendar.

That was... a lot. Let's take a look at the Abno Log before we try to come up with some themes for this thing.

The main details that we learn from these Logs are as such:

The pedestal the stone plate is on is actually made of wood, it only looks like it's woven from muscles.

The plate is confirmed to be a form of calendar, tying into the idea of foretelling some inevitable calamity.

The plate physically changes with each progressing Festival, being noted as becoming more ominous with each change.

Being killed via offering to the Calendar doesn't seem to kill in the traditional sense, rather it seems to disconnect the consciousness of the offered from their body and... it's unclear what exactly they see since Yi Sang's too traumatized to make sense in the Log, but it's clear it's some form of End of Everything.

Now then... What the hell kinda themes can we extract from all this?

The biggest one that I've probably spoiled in this write-up is the theme of some inevitable calamity. An End of the world, whether literal or metaphorical, that can never be truly stopped, only delayed indefinitely.

Another theme I can see here is this dissonance between two parties. Something that one sees as a horrible act being seen as something to celebrate by someone else. Sacrifices seen as gifts, Rituals seen as Festivals, the stars' light bringing forth darkness for others.

Last theme I want to bring up here is the concept of a harbinger. A calendar with a deadline on it isn't what's causing that deadline, it's only warning you of that deadline approaching. Likewise, the Star Festival shows us that the Doomsday Calendar isn't the one directly causing calamities, it's only a vessel through which other forces act, and through which they can also be calmed to delay the inevitable.

With all of that laid out... Impending Day Sinclair. Oh man, Impending Day Sinclair.

Let's start off with the Awakening attack, shall we? Here, the... staff? Mace? Hammer? The weapon that Sinclair uses takes on a form mimicking the shape Doomsday Calendar's plate has during the Blood Festival phase. This corresponds nicely with the effect this attack has, being healing and granting a buff on a kill, as if devouring the target similarly to how Doomsday Calendar needs blood to be satiated during the corresponding phase.

The dialogue line, "I’ll crush you…", doesn't really tell us much by itself. Sinclair's delivery here is sort of strained, not exactly scared but not angry either. Anticipating, perhaps? Readying himself? Trying to show restraint? It's a little bit hard for me to tell. What I do find interesting is how this line seems to roughly correspond with the type of attack Doomsday Calendar does during its Blood Festival phase - pounding and slamming the ground with its arms. Likewise, the type of attack Sinclair goes for here is slamming down onto the target, pushing them further down to the ground.

Considering how the Blood Festival phase shows us Doomsday Calendar seemingly having a tantrum out of impatience, is this meant to be a reflection of Sinclair in some way?

Of how he acted out, not exactly out of impatience but more so out of the anxious anticipation of his upcoming prosthetic procedure, leading to him breaking his family's trust and indirectly causing them to be "crushed" by Kromer?

Then, there's the Corrosion attack. Sinclair's weapon here takes on a form mimicking that of Doomsday Calendar's plate during the Fire Festival phase, showing the progression of intensity. The mechanics and animation aren't as close of a parallel to that fight's phase, considering Doomsday Calendar only guards during it, but I think there is still something to be noted here.

During the Fire Festival, Doomsday Calendar can be best described as "simmering" in my opinion. Letting its raging flame be known while also seemingly calmly waiting for an offering to be given. Likewise, Corroded Sinclair could also be described as simmering in this attack, gaining a buff but also being hurt if he fails to kill. His dialogue line's delivery also gives off that vibe of a controlled frenzy - sounding calm yet at moments being so intense it almost makes him sound ecstatic.

His line here, "You, too, will be a live offering.", is... interesting. It's as direct of a reference to the Abnormality as it can get, but there's just something about it that makes me wonder. The wording of 'You, too' brings to mind the image of someone having already been offered up beforehand. Who was this previous offering? Who is this current one?

In the Fire Festival phase, the offering given to the Abnormality is meant to weaken its flames, to cool its fervor. It patiently waits for it, like an Altar, while damage is caused all around it. Perhaps, just like in the Awakening the calamity being brought forth represents Kromer, the Corrosion represents how Kromer patiently waited for the second 'offering', Sinclair himself, to show up at her altar, while N Corp's Inquisitors burned down everything for her in the meantime.

Finally, we have the Sin Analysis portion of this post.

Impending Day's Sin Affinity is Wrath, the Sin of defiance and the audacity to try and change the world. I think that perfectly represents what sort of 'impending day' this E.G.O represents. By acting with Wrath, by trying to delay the inevitable procedure and trusting Kromer, Sinclair became the harbinger of the calamity she brought.

Just like how in Doomsday Calendar's fight delaying one calamity only brings forth another, Sinclair delaying the end of his world that losing his organic body meant to him only brought forth a different kind of end to his world.

When it comes to Sin Resource Cost, Impending Day requires two Sins - Wrath (3 of them) and Lust (2 of them).

Wrath requirement is already partially explained by the Affinity. Sinclair needs to wish to defy his reality, to delay the seemingly inevitable, to be willing to rebel against his family, for the Kromerity (that is, Kromer calamity) to take place.

Lust is an interesting Sin requirement here. I believe it's meant to represent Sinclair seeking fulfillment, specifically a fulfilling life and a form of social fulfillment. On one hand, he's seeking a way to continue living this his organic body, as it's the way of being he finds far more preferrable and comfortable to the cold prosthetics he sees his family using. On the other hand, there's the social fulfillment that comes from befriending Kromer and listening to her further justifying his own disgust. Both of those contribute to him being compelled to trust Kromer, thus bringing forth the Kromerity.

When it comes to Sin Resistances, interestingly enough the only one Impending Day Sinclair shares with Doomsday Calendar is being Fatal to Sloth. By resigning himself to his fate, to the initial calamity, Sinclair could have avoided this whole situation, which is something he's painfully aware of.

Impending Day Sinclair being fatal to Gloom is also a reflection of his regrets. If only he had listened to his doubts and worries in the moment, if only he had let his initial anxiety around Kromer lead him away from her, perhaps this all could have been avoided.

On the other hand, Wrath is ineffective against Impending Day Sinclair. After all, Wrath is what led him into this situation in the first place, but it's also what can get him out right now. By directing that Wrath against Kromer, by defying what she wants, he can delay her next inevitable calamity.

To properly summarize, since I really should summarize these posts more often, Impending Day represents Sinclair's role as a harbinger of the calamity Kromer would bring, and how his attempts at delaying his own prosthetic procedure led to him and his family becoming 'offerings' to her. It's a reflection of his guilt, of the role he believes he played in this tragedy.

So... yeah. Hope that was enjoyable to read, I don't know how long this post turned out to be and at this point I'm afraid to ask!

[snarky-magpie]

Prongsfoot Week 2024 - Day 1

A bit late to the party, but better late than later.

New to Prongsfoot Week: When and Why did you begin to Ship Prongsfoot?  What makes you Ship it?  Basically, just gush on this ship.

Over a year ago, I ventured into the Marauders fandom for the first time after being a fan of the books for years. I've always loved the Marauders era, with Sirius being my favorite character. I always got the vibe (before ever knowing anything of the ships) from him that he was a tiny bit in love with James in canon. But at first, I was sucked down the Wolfstar hole, which I quickly abandoned in favor of Jegulus, but there was still this niggle in the back of my brain asking, "Okay, but what about Sirius and James? Shouldn't there be fics about them as well? I mean, they were so into each other in canon. Best friends. Obsessed with each other. Why aren't people writing about them more? Why are they shipping Sirius with the wet rag Remus?"

So I went to look, with trepidation, "I hope this doesn't awaken anything in me" because I was writing several Jegulus stories and didn't want to be derailed. But once I started reading, I couldn't stop 😅 I've always had a soft spot for the "friends to lovers" trope, and James and Sirius are peak material for exactly that. Like I mentioned above, I've always suspected Sirius of having feelings for James – I mean, the level of devotion he exhibits to him, and later this son, that goes beyond mere friendship.

And granted, we don't see much of James in canon, but he obviously cared deeply about Sirius in return. "He was the only one James would stop showing off for." - Enough said.

My initial fears proved right and it did awaken something in me. I tore through most of the fics about them on AO3, and then I immediately started writing for them as well because, in my opinion, they desperately need more content. Ever since then, I've had a tough time writing something else, which is a bummer because I have one or two jegulus fics I'd like to tackle... but prongsfoot keeps drawing me back in 😅

[sitron-sunni]

I watched the new episode of 9-1-1

a personal essay on queerbaiting (sorta)

I watched the new episode of 9-1-1, and immediately burst into tears as the credits started rolling.

Then I rewound the last six minutes, and watched the scene again, pausing to rewind the kiss. Again. And again. And again.

We got a kiss. I didn’t know we were getting a kiss. I sorta knew we were getting bi Buck, but I didn’t know we were getting a kiss. After last week’s episode, a lot of people were 100% convinced we were getting bi Buck. I saw their reactions before I watched that episode, too, and I was so confused once I finished it. Had we seen the same episode? That guy, Tommy, Buck’s so-called bisexual awakening-guy, was barely in there. He had about two memorable lines, and then he was in the background of a different shot, where he received a job-well-done slap on the shoulder from Buckley. That last one’s the one people were focusing on online. Look at the way this is framed, look at how he’s positioned, between Buck and Eddie. This is foreshadowing how he’s gonna get between them. Buck and Tommy is gonna be the gateway into buddie. They’re actually gonna do buddie, why else would they introduce a relationship between Buck and Tommy?

Reader, I’ll keep it straight with you. I did not believe them. After a while I gathered a lot of people already knew the name of the next episode; Buck, Bothered and Bewildered. They’d seen some stills, they knew there would be conflict and jealousy within that trio. They were putting it all together with comments and hints dropped by the actors. All those things added up, and it did paint a far more convincing picture. And I thought it was fun! I reblogged a few posts about it, I think, or at least I liked some. But the fact remains: I did not believe them. I thought, oh, imagine how cool it would be if they actually went there. I thought, yeah, realistically it would make sense to bring in a third person if they were actually gonna do it. That way they could test the waters, gauge audience response, and it could work as a catalyst for the relationship after so long. But mostly I thought Okay, so they’re gonna bring in Buck’s fear of not being enough for the people he loves again, this time through his friendship with Eddie, and we’re gonna get some sort of final resolution for that. Like, a big moment of catharsis. Or something along those lines, anyway. It just seemed to me like the most realistic thing that could happen. I mean, the idea of canon buddie was nice, of course it was! The queerbait is why I started watching the show in the first place: I wanted a good queerbait! But ultimately, a ship like that going canon was completely unrealistic. I speak from experience, after all.

Maybe it would’ve been different if I was younger. I remember being in fandoms when I was a teen. I remember reading theories, watching youtube-videos with “proof” that this or that was real, that it was gonna go canon. I remember getting my hopes up, thinking Oh my god what if they’re actually gonna do it!? for shows and pairings that, in hindsight, were completely unrealistic. Maybe that’s why I, even with fairly good evidence in front of me, didn’t actually get my hopes up this time. Because why be that stupid? Why invest emotionally like that? Why not just enjoy what we actually had instead, and then get anything extra from fanworks? Haven’t we learned by now?

I woke up this morning and opened tumblr, and I read half a sentence about how we actually have bisexual Buck confirmed canon now, before I quickly closed the app to avoid too detailed spoilers. Oh my god they were right! I can’t wait to watch the episode, I thought happily, and went on with my day. I opened the app again a few hours later, and scrolled for a few minutes, until I saw a brief glimpse of one, maybe one and a half gifs. Bucks face, Tommy’s face. Warm orange-y yellow lighting, Buck’s loft, you still owe me a beer. Close the app, move on. There were other posts throughout the day, more glimpses, all along the same lines as the first one. The last one came late in the evening, this time on twitter. Just the word in all caps; ANNOUNCEMENT, and then Bucks face and a bisexual pride flag.

And then finally, finally, after I’d brushed my teeth and gotten into bed, I was alone with my laptop, and I could watch the episode. The hype had built up, I was so excited to finally watch it. I was internally vibrating just a little bit. I was giggly, I was grinning widely, I was making comments to myself out loud, and laughing. I said oh my god, they’re really laying it on thick. I remember watching that scene for the first time and thinking how Tommy really looked so nervous at some points. That last one I found interesting. I really liked the actor’s portrayal; His facial expressions were quite subtle, and I thought he captured that nervous feeling so well. Maybe I took such notice of it because, well, I wasn’t quite expecting it.

I wasn’t expecting nervousness in an interaction between Buck and Tommy, because I still wasn’t actually expecting anything. At least I don’t think I was. Even with everything I’d seen online. Even as I was watching the show, I convinced myself. Those words, you still owe me a beer, they’ve misinterpreted them. They think it’s an invitation to a date because Buck’s jealousy in this episode is making it more plausible than ever before. Sure, the show’s leaning into it this time, but they’re gonna pull the rug out next episode. No, of course it wasn’t an invite to a date, what show were you watching, are you delusional? It’s just gonna be one week of people speculating and theorizing and building it up, and then the show’s gonna resolve it with some no-homo followed by a nice new buddie moment. The buzz will die down, and things will go back to normal.

And then the kiss happened. And then I burst into tears.

And now I think, oh my god isn’t it wild that they’re introducing a new romantic relationship for one of the main characters, and for the entire lead-up to the relationship, both Buck and Tommy are entirely focused on Eddie? Like, they’re just making everything about a third person! Imagine if they did this for anybody else! and, oh my god Tommy’s gonna break up with Buck because Buck’s basically already dating Eddie or something, isn’t he? and, oh my god it’s gonna be glorious! and, oh my god I can’t wait!

And I’m also thinking, I was wrong, and you were right. And I’m so happy I could cry.

TL;DR: If you and I share sterek, or destiel, or god knows what other similarly-shaped trauma, 9-1-1 might heal ya.

[cha-melodius]

hii!! for the director's commentary asks, i'd love to hear bout the celebrities' bakeoff au 'All The Old Showstoppers', the cheese shop worker!Henry AU 'Will You Brie Mine?; and lastly, 'Please Don't Let Me Be So Understood'!! ⭐Feel free to talk about any sections you'd like!⭐

Ooh ok tidbits for each:

All the Old Showstoppers: I’d always wanted to write a Bake Off AU but a FULL Bake Off season was gonna really require a long multichap to do it justice. I realized that I could do a Celebrity Bake Off AU and that’d be only two days of actual Bake Off. Of course it still took me 20k but that was a lot more manageable when I was just coming off a 66k fic. I loved the idea of Alex and Henry coming together a little later, having had a few more years to mellow out. A lot of people assume Alex has already had his bi awakening in this fic based on how he flirts with Henry, but I’m honestly agnostic on that front; tbh I feel like he might have started having thoughts but never really completed that journey until Henry (kinda like movie Alex I guess, though this was written before!). Also keep an eye out for more ATOS trivia later lol, I have another ask for this one.

Will You Brie Mine?: written for a prompt for ‘Harrods food hall’ by @tintagel-or-cockleshells, I considered Henry at a few different counters (pastry, chocolate), but ultimately decided cheese because of Henry’s canonical cheese recs in Paris. I did a bunch of research like “most unusual cheeses” to find ones that’d be lots of fun and also romantic. I took a while picking out the right fancy Mexican cheese, but my faves are probably the tete de moine and the story behind the Neufchâtel, because I got to have Alex call it ‘occupier cheese’.

And oh goodness, Please Don’t Let Me Be So Understood: god I was terrified to post this fic because it was SO difficult to write all those therapy sessions and I wasn’t sure people were gonna want to read 20k of therapy?? And it performed beyond my wildest dreams tbh. I wrote the initial setup for this and then almost abandoned it when I started doing research about couple’s therapy because I was convinced I couldn’t pull it off. I didn’t want it to be a caricature of therapy, I wanted it to be real. But I posted a snippet of it and @celeritas2997 came into my dms to yell at me about it and also to offer her professional assistance, which made me feel a lot better. She’s the entire reason it got written, so everyone say “thank you, Cee!”

My favorite therapy session to write was the ‘sex talk’ one for obvious reasons lol, but also because it features Alex ‘coming out’ in therapy before he’s fully realized that he’s bisexual, and I just loved that moment so much. Another fun fact is that this is the second time I’ve written a Coney Island date into a fic (the other is a different fandom). I guess I just love a Coney Island date. 😂

(Fanfic Writers: Director’s Cut)

[thekingofwinterblog]

So, i see a lot of anger in the Dragon Age fandom regarding the Evanuris turning out to not be real gods/being evil, and it being planned from the start.

I don't think the reveal was handled particularly well(Like most dalish reveals in DAI)... But I very much disagree with the notion that it was a retcon, not planned out, and there were no hints at all.

This is a statue of Falo'din, one of said elvhen gods, as portrayed in dragon age origins.

And this is the kind of imagery you will find all over darkspawn lairs as they constantly build shrines to this image.

The same image is also raised in a secret blood mage tevinter cult in Denrim...

And in the same house you will also find statues that are similarly revered by the blood mage cultists that are flat out Falo'din statues. Only with more hands.

And when we see concept art for how the arch demon was supposed to look like we have the key that ties all these statues and imagery thats worshipped by three different people together.

Urthemiel, the dragon of beauty, the fifth Old God to be awakened by the Darkspawn, is Falo'din, the Elvhen God of death and fortune.

And in case you still aren't convinced, notice the giant gold plate that all of these(except the Dragon form of Urthemiel) has on it's forehead?

This is the symbol later games gave Urthemiel.

The foreshadowing and evidence that the Elven gods were not what they appeared, but were evil and on top of that was the old gods, was there from day one.

I do wish they had handled this better, and given some more context and clues when the obvious form of the Archdemon(and the implications it had) was changed, but its abundantly clear that when they designed the first game, they really did want to make the ultimate plot twist rather obvious.

I really wish they had stuck with that foreshadowing, rather than keep their secrets tight to the chest all the way until tresspasser. There were so many times they could have foreshadowed this connection between the evanuris and the old gods before that, but they chose not to, in order to keep the twist as long as possible, rather than using foreshadowing to enhance the story.